Thursday, December 2, 2010

Okay, I'll admit it...I'm a Fanilow

One of my newest bloggy buddies, Kimberly from All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something gave me an award....awhile ago. 

And you want to know how much I suck as a bloggy friend?  I can't even remember what the award was...that's how long ago it was. 

But last night as I was going through all the million and one drafts I have (half-written), I stumbled upon this one and realized I never finished it.

Cuz I suck.  Oh wait...we've already established that, right?

Just because I forgot about the award doesn't mean I adore Kimberly any fact, she came up with my latest favorite word "fracken".  I told her I was stealing it from I walk around saying, "Fracken this" and "Fracken that".  

Or wait, maybe her word was "facken"....geez, my memory really does suck.  So I could be walking around saying the word wrong...either way, it's much better than saying the actual F word, right?

Of course, I have to watch anything I say around the spawn...who soak up everything I say, except the stuff I want them to hear, know what I mean?

From my half-written draft, I know I'm supposed to write about 10 things that I like.

Here goes nothing....

1)  Barry Manilow.  Okay, I've said it.  I am a Fanilow. And I don't just like Barry Manilow, I love Barry Manilow.  Sure, he's not easy on the eyes like, say...Ryan Reynolds or Mark Wahlberg...but his smooth, velvety voice makes him pretty damn sexy.  I can't listen to his music without wanting to cry a river.  Oh Mandy....

2)  Peace and quiet.  As if that was a shock, right?

3)  Bangs.  I grew out my bangs years ago and finally decided I hated how my hair looked.  So I went to my stylist a couple weeks ago and after she was done touching-up my highlights, I went in for the kill. 

"Uh, I'm thinking I want bangs again", I stammered.

"Bangs?  Are you sure?" she asked.  She's obviously not a huge fan of bangs.

With each little bit she cut off, she'd look at me in the mirror and say, "Is that good?" and I would shake my head and answer, "Nope, shorter". 

I think she was afraid I'd have buyer's regret and spend the next 3 years asking her why she let me do this to myself.  I'm sure in her head she was trying to figure out a diplomatic way to tell me, "Please, for all things sacred, do NOT tell people I'm your stylist!"

But, you know what, when she was done cutting and styling my hair...I loved it!  Totally and completely LOVED it!! 

I'll have one of the kids take my picture soon so you can love it, too.  And if you don't...have a heart and just lie to me.

4)  Listening to my big spawn trying to explain things to my little spawn.  Take, for instance, the other night after they had all had a bath.  Landon noticed his hands were all wrinkled and pruny from the water so he asked Cole why.  Here was Cole's answer...

"Well, you know sometimes, how there's waves in the water.  Well, they get into your skin and you end up looking like an old person."

And Landon was completely satisfied with that explanation. 

But you know if I had given him that same explanation, it wouldn't have gone over quite as well.  Cuz that's just life.

5)  Old re-runs of Roseanne.  I'm a die-hard fan for life, people.  I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that when the show was originally on the air, I wished so much that Roseanne and Dan Connor were my parents.  They seemed cool....and happy.  I related most to Darlene...she used humor to get through any situation.  That's me, in a nutshell.

6)  Baking.  Who knew?  There's a kind of rush that I get from baking...I can't explain it.  I love being able to create something out of nothing.  And I absolutely love the looks on people's faces when they see a cake I baked and they ask, "You made that?!  Wow!"

7)  Hanging with good friends who totally get me (and they still like me anyway).  The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to surround yourself with friends who are supportive and encouraging...and who won't go running for the hills when you say, "I can totally understand why some parents shake their kids", when your 3-year old is having his 4th tantrum in a matter of 10 minutes.

8)   Cocoa Krispies.  Hey, everyone has their weakness...

9)  When my kids get along.  It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's a serious melt-my-heart moment.

10)  Wellbutrin.  That's right, people.  I bit the bullet and got my grumpy ass back on my all-time favorite drug.  I did pretty well when I went off of it for the first few months but recently I've become unglued over the littlest it was time to face the music and start popping happy pills again. 

However, I'm not sure it's taken full effect as of yet.  How do I know?

The other day, Bella saw me take one and she asked, "Mommy, are those your happy pills?"

I answered, "Yes, I decided to start taking them again."

And she, completely uncensored as always, replied back, "I think you need to take more because I wouldn't consider you happy just yet.  Maybe about 5% happy but that's it."

Go visit Kimberly's blog and tell her I sent you!  Her writing is amazing...and she's fracken hysterical (or is it facken hysterical?) Registered & Protected


Rebecca said...

OMG...Bella's response nearly sent me over the edge!!! She's a pip, huh? it.

Cocoa Krispies? How could you not when the milk turns all perfectly chocolate?

Kimberly said...

Fack you are so fracken hilarious. The r can be substituted whenever you like...for example when I'm at work I use frack because fack sounds a lot more like the real f*ck and I am all sorts of professional like that.
I may have lost a smidge of respect when I saw that you loved Barry but you recovered with Roseanne. She is awesome. I am also a big fan of sugar in the morning. I'm thirty but still squeal in delight when I make a bowl of Lucky Charms.
Oh and bangs? Totally in style. I have the straight across ones. They make me feel young ;)
So poop on your hairdresser!

The Mother said...

My kids cringe at my choice of music. Luckily, I have ear buds.

Jennifer said...

Oh I dribbled coffee over myself when I read Bella's comment to you! She's something else!

And the wrinkly skin explanation? PRICELESS!!!!

Ashley said...

Oh dear sweet Bella...I wonder where she gets her wit?! :)

Kristina P. said...

Hey, I just posted about how I cut bangs! I am still getting used to them.

Flying Giggles and Lollipops said...

I am so bad with awards. I have a few drafts of my own that I need to take care of. I am heading over to vote for you now.

Eva Gallant said...

I finally stopped accepting awards because I'm so bad at it!

That Bella! She is priceless!

MiMi said...

Oh Roseanne!!! How do I love thee??? Let me count the ways...

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Hey! Oh Roseanne, those re-runs are the funniest! And I totally agree with #7, good friends are a must!

Nezzy said...

Ya just gotta love that very cute and candid Bella!!! She cracks me up. She does come by it naturally ya know!

God bless and have a glorious day!!!

blueviolet said...

I am dying to know what your bangs look like!

I adore baking but this Barry Manilow

Amy W said...

Frack is the word they use on Battlestar Gallactica instead of the F word, so this may be where she got it. I only know this because my husband had to get the entire series from Netflix. Maybe Kimberly is a sci fi fanatic like he is! :)

Heather said...

From one Fanilow to another - love this post!

ashley said...

Bella's comment was adorable! Gotta love the things kids say. P.S. I totally like sugary kids cereals too. LOVE them. I would eat Frosted Flakes by the box if it were socially acceptable. Or husband acceptable.

Zeemaid said...

Captain Crunch.. the ultimate kid cereal sugar fix... haven't bought them in years. :)

Personally I say fudgsicles... a lot.

shortmama said...

I love Roseanne! I watch the reruns all the time. My hubs swears we are just like Dan and Roseanne, I however like to think Im less bitchy...what the hell does he know anyway!?

Crossed Fingers said...

haha - I love the response as to why his fingers were wrinkled.

This Daddy said...

Ok, #1. You are sick to admit it. But so you are not alone
"I write the songs", "Oh Mandy", see I know him too. Sick we are.

#5. You need help. Really.

#10. Stop taking that shit woman. You don't need drugs. Usually Im just goofy and funny, but seriously, you dont need that stuff. You can be a good mom, person, wife, friend, without that. Seriously. get back off it and stay off of it.

Kim said...

I'm right in the middle of the bangs dilemma myself. I've grown them out, and am thinking of cutting them into bangs again. Decisions, decisions.

Natalie said...

Funy about the bangs because I'm also thinking of cutting some.

I swear, if we lived near each other, we'd be BFFs we're so similar ;)

Karen Peterson said...

Helene, your friends don't just like you. We fracken LOVE you!

I'm a Fanilow, too. There. I said it. said...


Well...then, I can admit to you that I saw Barry in concert. (at the copa, copa cabana... yes, I am taken aback!)

And I hope that each day you are at least 1% happier!

Merry Christmas friend :)

Twins Squared said...

I like bangs too. I look way better with them than without. Forget what's in style - I know how I look best.

I love #7. I seem to find less and less of that the older I get. I don't know why - I think I'm an unbelievably normal and down to earth person, and yet all my close friends still somehow live in other cities.

Flyss said...

I am a HUGE Fanilow too! I have seen him twice in Las Vegas, once in London and I'm going to see him again in March. I'm only 21 so my friends give me a lot of stick for being a Fanilow but his songs are amazing! x

Mighty M said...

Kids are too funny - they just tell it like it is. :)

I love my bangs and not sure I'll ever grow them out again!!

Buckeroomama said...

The following would have been written in super small font if this commenting system had allowed it: I own a Best of Barry Manilow CD. There.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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