The spawn got a lesson in reverse psychology while I finally learned that sometimes they DO actually listen, just not exactly when I WANT them to listen.
And, of course, there was the time when, in a desperate attempt to prove to myself that I deserve to be Mother of the Year, I tried to hang up a mobile for Bella....and almost fell to my death.
February 2010: After watching Jake Pavelka on The Bachelor suck up to yet another innocent victim, I discussed what men are really looking for in a woman.
In a rare moment filled with regret, I wished I had spent more time enjoying the children when they were teeny-tiny babies.
This was also the month I reached 1000 followers!! Such an exciting time!
March 2010: This month began with Cole and Bella sharing some deep thoughts. Garrett and Landon turned 3 years old, which turned me into a blubbering blob of sappy tears.
I shared details of my very first real kiss and gave the lowdown on why Tim is so.....uh, for lack of a better word, naive.
And, of course, we mustn't forget about "BFF" who felt the need to litter my blog with cruel and hateful words about my daughter, while cowardly hiding behind an anonymous blogger ID. I wrote this post to show "BFF" and the world that you can pick on me, but you DO NOT pick on my child.
April 2010: April started off with a bang as the kids informed me that I was getting a boyfriend for my 41st birthday...how thoughtful of them. I revealed 10 things that make me.....well, ME.
In an effort to cleanse my soul, I poured my heart out in a gut-wrenching post about the differences between my mother and myself.
However, I was rather proud when I heard Bella repeating some of my all-time favorite phrases, dripping with sarcasm....imitation is the best form of flattery, so they say.
I quit Wellbutrin...cold turkey, quite by accident. Don't worry, people, I'm back on it again...much to Tim's happiness and joy.
And Tim read my blog for the very first time and said he was actually "blown away" by it...especially after reading this post I wrote about the one thing I'm truly good at.
May 2010: In honor of Mother's Day, I chose to write about the honest truth about the process of becoming a mother. I hung my head in shame as I revealed that I lack common sense and Garrett allowed me to share his views on potty training with the blogosphere.
We took the kids to Disneyland and, upon returning, I wrote this post about how to survive a family vacation at the "happiest" place on earth.
Cole learned how to ride a bike without training wheels and Tim caught a soccer ball....with his face.
June 2010: Just as summer break began, we learned the hard way why you should never carry your child on your shoulders. After much hard work, the kids and I began to see the fruits of our labor, literally...in our summer garden.
I shared some weight loss tips for those of us still struggling with the New Year's Resolutions which we had made 6 months earlier to....uh, lose weight.
July 2010: We celebrated the 4th of July by allowing the spawn to play with sparklers. In a moment of raw honesty, I apologized to the kids for losing my cool in front of them.
And I made a vain attempt at teaching the spawn about stranger danger, which didn't go over so well.
We took our annual family trip to Lake Tahoe, also known as our "same shit, different place" adventure.
August 2010: This month began by pouring my heart out again, as I shared the graphic details of my experience with PPD.
To get back at me for re-negotiating my marriage contract in honor of our 7th wedding anniversary, Tim re-negotiated his marriage contract in honor of our 8th anniversary....and he actually wrote this post himself!
I was honored when asked to submit a couple short stories for a book filled with a heartfelt look at parenthood...and my stories were published!!
And Cole and Bella began 1st grade, while Garrett and Landon started preschool....and the school year got off to a good start when Garrett loudly asked me to "hold his balls". I also shared a haunting tale of senseless eating.
September 2010: I offered to make a wedding cake for my stepdad's niece and I shared all my cake-baking secrets...sarcasm and all. My little ole' blog was listed on WE Magazine's list of 101 Women Bloggers to Watch.
Then there was the time that I tried to teach an important life lesson to the spawn in "do what I do, NOT what I say". And Cole and Bella convinced me that a dead pet was better than no pet at all.
October 2010: This month started off not so great when I discovered that whoever coined the phrase "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" obviously never made a guitar cake...as I nearly killed myself making birthday cakes for Cole and Bella's 6th birthday.
I shared my beliefs on why chaperoning your kid's class field trip is basically like selling your soul to the devil and I finally bit the bullet and accepted the fact that apparently I am "THAT" mom.
October ended on a good note when I went in for my very first mammogram and was shocked that having my boobs smashed wasn't so bad after all....and I got a clean bill of health, to boot.
November 2010: I wrote about the unique privileges of being a parent and what NOT to do when you're invited to be on a talk show.
And then, of course, there was an Interview with the Experts: The Thanksgiving Edition.
December 2010: My kids thought I had no clue and I had to come to terms with the fact that they were probably right. Also, I poured my heart out again and shared why I hate the phrase "cautiously optimistic".
We wrapped up 2010 with a final Interview with the Experts where they satisfied your burning curiosity about such things as where do babies come from and how to get your kids to do more chores around the house.
We'll begin 2011 off with The Experts answering the rest of your questions...they've been kind of busy, what with attempting to spy on Santa as he delivered presents and trying to poison the elves with sour milk.
Hope you all have a wonderful (and safe) Happy New Year!!!
