Out of the blue, one day a long time ago, Tim said, "Sweetie, I'm thinking about ordering you a personalized licensed plate".
"Really?" I asked. "Because I'm special and unique?"
"Uh, no..." he responded. "Something to do with twins..."
I paused and then said, "Why? So there'll be an explanation as to why I'm driving so irradically?"
Needless to say, he never ordered me that personalized license plate. But then again, how could I be upset when it was #4,587 on his list of things to do. It wasn't exactly a priority, seeing that it's now the year 2011 and he's only on #3,246.
So, screw the personalized license plate. I figure I'll just create a bunch of bumper stickers and place them all over my mini-van.
My own personal Helene'isms.
1) Help someone in need....offer to babysit her kids.
2) My kids made your honor student cry. Shocked? Don't be...they make ME cry all the time.
3) Parenthood, it's not just a job, it's an adventure...one where you'll never sleep 8 hours straight again, EVER.
4) Honk if you remembered to take your Wellbutrin today.
5) Loud Noise? What loud noise? I can't hear you...my kids are screaming.
6) I have kids...but will happily trade them for a good bottle of wine.
7) Come on, you and I BOTH yell at our kids. I just have no shame in admitting it.
8) MY kids are the reason your teenager remembers to take her birth control pills.
9) Know-it-all husband on board. Yes, he's lost. No, he won't ask for directions.
10) I'm running away from home. Don't bother calling 911.
OM and Ohms
1 day ago