"Really?" I asked. "Because I'm special and unique?"
"Uh, no..." he responded. "Something to do with twins..."
I paused and then said, "Why? So there'll be an explanation as to why I'm driving so irradically?"
Needless to say, he never ordered me that personalized license plate. But then again, how could I be upset when it was #4,587 on his list of things to do. It wasn't exactly a priority, seeing that it's now the year 2011 and he's only on #3,246.
So, screw the personalized license plate. I figure I'll just create a bunch of bumper stickers and place them all over my mini-van.
My own personal Helene'isms.
1) Help someone in need....offer to babysit her kids.
2) My kids made your honor student cry. Shocked? Don't be...they make ME cry all the time.
3) Parenthood, it's not just a job, it's an adventure...one where you'll never sleep 8 hours straight again, EVER.
4) Honk if you remembered to take your Wellbutrin today.
5) Loud Noise? What loud noise? I can't hear you...my kids are screaming.
6) I have kids...but will happily trade them for a good bottle of wine.
7) Come on, you and I BOTH yell at our kids. I just have no shame in admitting it.
8) MY kids are the reason your teenager remembers to take her birth control pills.
9) Know-it-all husband on board. Yes, he's lost. No, he won't ask for directions.
10) I'm running away from home. Don't bother calling 911.
45 comments:
Cute! I love the one, "Don't call 911. I'm running away." Haven't we all felt that way...maybe for a couple minutes. Just kidding.....
#8 totally cracks me up. These are awesome. So much better than personalized plates ;-)
I absolutely love these, they made my day.
LOL! LOVE these. I want them all on my van.
My Fav is #4..I hope all is well with your family. I have been missing in the bloggy world ever since my 3 lo came. Way to busy to blog ,much rather catch a nap. Anyway I'm back and missed your posts. Have a great Day!!
BWHAHAHH I love the honor student one that was hilarious. You should go into business with these things you could make some good money speaking from a mom's point of view..
#2 is my favourite. I would buy that and put it on my car! #8 is pretty good, too. Having said that, MY kids are the reason I remember to take MY birth control! You're welcome, World.
"MY kids are the reason your teenager remembers to take her birth control pills"
replace "teenager" with "30-something" and you've got me spot on!
I was cracking up reading these! I so relate.
Once again you crack me up!! Thanks for always fidning the humor in motherhood!
Stef
http://www.whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com
Geese Louise, I was feelin' a bit down today and popped in here. I guarantee I'm leavin' laughin' out-loud. I was just snortin' green tea out my nose and sprayin' the computer 'till I got to #8 and now I'm on the floor girl!!! You crack me up! :o)
God bless you day sweetie and may you find a moment to yourself. Closet maybe???? Heeheehhee!!!
Thank you!
These made my day. I'm sick, kids are sick...and although the laughing has caused one hell of a painful coughing fit, I still love them! Great stuff. I can't even pick a fav, they're all great. :)
Those would be awesome bumper stickers! I'm still laughing!
Hilarious! I actually used #5 last night with my Grandpa. He said, "Do you hear that loud buzzing in my phone?" I said, "No, I can only hear Jule. I can barely hear you!"
haha - I love those ideas...you should make a few of them.
#4 had me LOL. Wouldn't that be funny to be driving and people honk at you.
ROFL I love them!
You need to get off of the Politcal Correctness Bus, you know damn well you could have come a lot harder with these bumper sticker ideas. Helene, are you getting soft?
Love it! Can you make me some up to : )
oh-my-godness... yes i love them all?
LOVE number 4...amen!
Oh, and by the way, this is Samantha from Apple Juice and Milk. I have new blog now called "On the Couch". I haven't commented in a while, so I thought I'd re-introduce myself!
Number 8 is awesome!
Great list. They really make me look forward to motherhood!
Very funny list! I definitely think you should do it! That would definitely make your minivan look even cooler to be littered up with crazy bumper stickers all over. :)
#5 is my favorite.
Honk Honk... Zoloft that is!
Hilarious!!!! You should patent those. Love #8!!
You are too much and I would totally sport all of those on my bumper.
Honk...I think I took my cymbalta in between shots of Jäger
Some people at work have the cartoon over their desks that reads, "I keep hitting escape but I'm still here." That sums me up!
love em all. I think you just hit a money maker! ;)
I like them all but especially 6 and 8.
I love it! Especially 8, 9, and 10.
I used to tell my niece that my kids were her birth control. She is now 23, getting married in June, and planning on having NO kids.
And to her I say, you're welcome.
Your husband is doing pretty good. My hubby is only on #97, lol. By #6 I was in stitches. You are too much Helene!
The personalized plates would only make you more memorable to the person you cut off because you are jetting to a doctor appt. you are late for. Better off w/o it:)
Bottle of wine?..sounds good! I never hear any other noises when the kids are around. They are like fog horns. I hope the house won't burn down with us all in it. I won't hear the alarm.
Run away? I do twice a week for an hour, but it's still not quite enough, lol.
Great list girl. I love your posts. Hang in there, they will all be teenagers driving us crazy in different ways soon enough. Even the blasting of music, is more quiet and tolerable then screaming toddlers. Hang on friend.
xoxo Shelly
PS- My 5 yo on her own has protected many young women from unwanted pregnancies!
http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
The running away one is So So me. And the made your honor student cry. Heh. Priceless.
OMG! I love all of them, but you know the Wellbutrin one is all me!
I'll go for #6.
Sweet! #4 and #8 are my favorites!
Classic Helene-isms!!!!!
You make me laugh so hard.
Even though I have not been blogging I have been over for my Helene fix at times :)
Thanks for the sweet comment :)
You are the best!
Those are hilarious!
You should print those and sell them.
I love this, funny it is. Yes Moms never get to sleep 8 hours again. Husbands asking for directions, Lol
kim
I will be the one hitting the ditch as I try to read these! Go you!
My fav is the last one too! You make them, I will buy that one for sure!
Oh Helene, I loved #5! And what a small world. So glad to find your blog through MacaroniKids. Let's definitely keep in touch!
All my best,
Genny
The post that was probably accidentally posted about 3 minutes ago... Wow. Powerful.
Haha! I like #4.
I'm a new follower, by the way. :)
ShanimalCrackers.blogspot.com
My license plate holder says "You can't scare me... I have two sets of twins!" LOL
Love 'em!!!
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