Monday, February 7, 2011

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one pulling my hair out...

Here's a straight-up fact, people.  On an average day, a 4-year old child will ask approximately 437 questions.  And, just so you know, anything counts as a question.  Even the simplest of phrases, such as "huh?", count as a question.  

So, if you consider that I have two 3-year olds who are just 1 month shy of their 4th birthday...and two 6-year olds who think they know everything (please, I've been having the same argument with Bella for months now about which president said "I cannot tell a lie"...I say it's Washington, she says it's Lincoln.  I'm right, she's wrong.  Why can't she just accept it?), we're talking serious noise around here.  

Question after question, statement after statement...every minute of the freakin' day.  It's enough to make me want to pull my hair out.  

I used to think I was the only mother who felt that way.  I mean, really, I spent years....YEARS....with all my kids in an early intervention program, with the hopes that they would talk, sooner than later.  Who would have ever thought I'd be the one complaining about all their talking?!  It's ironic, if nothing else.

My beautiful friend and fellow mother of twins, Natalie of Mommy of  a Monster & Twins, offered to write a guest post for me and when she e-mailed it to me, I felt an odd sense of relief as I read it.  Oh, thank God, I'm not the only mother who feels bombarded by questions and statements ALL. THE. TIME.

I just love Natalie...she's a "tell it like it is" kind of person.  She's a breathe of fresh air, especially in a blogosphere which can be overwhelmed at times by bright-eyed, bushy-tailed mothers who claim to love every little detail of motherhood.  These are the mothers who smile sweetly as their child asks (for the 20th time in less than an hour), "Mommy, what's that?" and "Why, Mommy?"

But not Natalie and me.  Nope.  We keep it real.  

So I hope enjoy her guest post....Natalie is awesome!!  I wouldn't be surprised if you already know who she is...and if you don't, shame on you.  Make sure you stop by her blog and show her some love....oh, and follow her if you're not already!  You don't want to miss any of her writing, which is witty, humorous and, at times, so touching she will bring tears to your eyes.

Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk.

That about sums up my three year old son, Tater. The kid can talk. He talks about talking. He talks about nothing. He talks to hear himself talk. I thought I talked a lot; I ain't got nothing on that kid.

Maybe this is normal three year old behavior, I don't know. Maybe he is an overly-chatty three year old, again, I don't know. But what I do know is that the incessant, non-stop chatter is pushing me towards the edge of sanity and I swear if he doesn't stop, I will probably jump.


"Mom, what is that?"

"Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom."

"I want to watch Max & Ruby."

"I want a treat."

"I want to go outside."

"I will do it myself."

"I have to pee."

All of that? Was said in less than five seconds.

And what's so funny to me is that we, as parents, always push our first child (or children) to speak from the time they start making little peeps and sounds. We want to hear "mama" and "dada" and "bye bye" because it's so cute! We want the grandparents to hear it...friends to hear it...strangers to hear it.

Then we continue to push the talking. Yes, it's good for their development, I know that. But by the time they finally start talking, all we want is for them to shut up! I never, ever realized how much little kids talk until I had one of my own.

Another thing that is amazing to me that goes hand in hand with the talking? The habit all moms pick up -  the "Ignore" habit. I could never understand how my sister's kids could stand next to her and say "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom"...and she wouldn't even hear it. Now, I understand. I do it myself. And when my mom or husband or sister-in-law says "Tater's trying to talk to you", I honestly don't even hear it most of the time. It's like my brain has an internal mute button - much like my husband's must have.

I know you're wondering...why am I telling you all of this? Why am I whining and complaining? Because guess what? In 6 months or so, my twins, Ms. L and Ms. M, will be talking.

Dear God, people!

I will have three children talking - that's three times as much talking as Tater is currently doing! How will I ever survive? How do I stop the insanity???

You may be laughing for me if you've been through it already. You may be laughing with me if you are currently going through it. You may be laughing at me if you don't know what I'm talking about. But believe me, this is no laughing matter.

I may just be tied up in a straight jacket the next time you hear from me. I'm just sayin'.

Blog -
Twitter - @mommyofamonster
Facebook Fan Page - Mommy of a Monster
Email - Registered & Protected


singedwingangel said...

My youngest has proven to be the most talkative of my 3 boys. At 11 he still does the why and what if.. One day in exasperation after 1425 what if's I said WHAT if your mouth was made of Velcro then what huh??
He sat for a minute and finally said then I would make that weird noise that velcro makes every time I talks, ummm yeah.. welcome to my world

Rebecca said...

You're right...that is too many children talking! Twins at the same time are rough (speaking from experience), but eventually you can tell them to talk to each other and continue your "ignoring" thing b/c they don't care what you think anyway!

Sometimes there's just too much noise!!!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I HEAR ya! :) :) I sometimes wonder if I'm doing my girls a disservice in some ways...I talk nonstop to them...I'm guessing I'll have much of the same in return one day. That may be all well and good (assuming that I, too, possess an internal mute button, to be used as needed), but I'm taking pity already on their poor elementary school teachers...and on myself, who will surely have her share of kiddos in detention. HA!

Kimberly said...

The other day my toddler shouts put from the kitchen table "Momma look! Asshole!" then he kept repeating and repeating it. So there I was looking out the window for some asshole who snuck into my backyard only to find put he was trying to say "icicle"
Yea, this stage is a hard one because he's trying so hard to talk and have conversations.

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

I have been there, and I am not laughing with her. I am crying (and laughing too!)

Just repeat . . . This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

My own 3 year old, when caught drawing on my wall with permanent marker remarked, "Crap and DAMNIT!!" While mortified that she has picked up my potty mouth, I was secretly impressed that she used the vernacular correctly.

I'm soooo proud.

Cindy said...

Amen ladies - I have 3 girls - a 6.5 y/o and twin 2.5 y/os. Oh, the noise in my house! There is never quiet. I don't even think they know what that means.
We want them to talk so that we can understand, then we want them to be quiet, just for 2 minutes, please! Cracks me up.
My family will come and visit (we don't see them too often) and they can not believe the noise level. And the girls aren't even screaming - it's just 3 very chatty kids going all the time.

Kim-Stuff could be worse said...

I love this, it does remind me of my kids long ago. My hubs has that internal mute button with me too!!

Yellow said...

I want to point out two things. First 437 is about 56 questions less than my just now 3 year old. .so the number is going down! It gives me hope. Second, how many people did you get to google "I cannot tell a Lie"? I am sure that I was not the only one. But I am totally with you on the TALK TALK TALK!

Yesterday I was so stressed with the talking I made Lilly Go to her room so she would stop asking questions about the TV show, and then I said the words I don't like . . .The shh up words.

I understand why way back when kids were not to talk unless spoken to. I think that would be a good rule .. . but first I need them to stop talking long enough to tell them the new rule.

Oh and Anni~ Nothing is full of so many mix emotions as when your child picks a bad word and uses it the right way. "Where did she get that language? Oh . .Well at least she used it right! Can't get the right use of He and she hears it everday but by gosh she knows how to say 'Shit' with style!"

Natalie said...

Helene! Thanks for having me over for a visit! I cannot tell you how relieved I am to know that I'm not the only one that is ready to stuff their ears full of cotton just to get a quiet moment!

Shell said...

Oh, the talking! OMG, will they ever be quiet?????

Jen said...

Oh, I totally wish that kids had an off switch.

Eva Gallant said...

You will survive, I promise. (Been there, done that!)

TornadoTwos said...

Yes I am laughing! Laughing for you, as I've been though it with my first two, and also laughing with me as I'm going through it with my little 3 right now. I also have the internal mute button. The time it gets to me the most, though, is when I am reading them a story. They have a question about EVERY part of the story. Here it's supposed to be a nice moment between us, and I always snap at them- "Just stop asking questions or I'm not reading this anymore!"

Professional Golfers Career College said...

This is phenomenal...and here I thought I had the chattiest kid on the block! I literally feel like I've run a marathon by the time 9:00 rolls around because I'm just trying to keep up with all the important things she has to tell me. "Mom, the suns up, time to wake up", "Mom, are you happy or sad?," Mom I kept my diaper dry all night", "Mom, do you love milk?, I love it big much". "Mom, I have to go poop, but I need you to watch me"...seriously? So cute, but so wish she came with a mute button.

Mighty M said...

We need a support group, there are so many of us with incessant talkers out there! :)

Er Finke said...

Hilarious! Just FYI, both Washington and Lincoln said that line, but obviously, Washington said it first!! Kids are so funny when they are so stubborn!

Anonymous said...

My oldest is almost 11 and he hasn't shut up since I took his paci away at age 3. Moral of the story: Let the kids suck their pacis as long as they want. Braces are cheaper than than the Looney Bin.

Cindy said...

Holy mothers to all these talkers, Batman! I, like another Cindy poster on here, have 3 girls: almost 5, almost 8 and almost 11 (Mar, Apr, May) and talk? Always. They don't talk when sleeping but all of them make a whole lot of irritating noises which I'm sure is caused by all the yapping they do in their dreams. Sure, I can attribute this trait to me. I can chat you up good. But that doesn't mean I want to hear the same from my kids. And yes, they talk over under around each other. My 2nd grader's teacher asked rhetorically, "Do you know how appropriately you named her (GAB!! I must have been overtaken by a horrible pregnancy hormonal spell)?" I could've reached over her desk and slapped her silly. There have been many a time when I force the quiet game on them- you know that one. Let's see who can NOT talk for 5 min. And I'll throw the winner a party. We tried 10 minutes but you'd think I had a new form of torture worse than water boarding. That being said (over and over, all day long), I am a long time member of the chatty children club and I have a very long way to go. 3 teenage girls in my future. You can find me curled up in the fetal position in my bathtub, iPod on high, surrounded by empty bottles.

Nezzy said...

I was always the quiet one who had nothing to say unless it was truly profound and important. I lived my first nine years amongst adults therefore I spoke their language. Then along came my sister. My Dad used to say, "Gosh, we thought she was never gonna talk and now she has diarrhea of them mouth!!!" :o)

I promise will get through it!

God bless and have a terrific week with your chatter boxes!!!

Twins Squared said...

Funny - yes I remember Mackenzie 100 times a day - everything was "Why is the sky called the sky?" "Why is dinner called dinner?"

I think it's finally stopped. But Natalie (I think that was your name) once they can talk that means not just your normal twin push/pulling fighting but now with words too!

Ignoring it is a great strategy!

Heather said...

We teach them to walk. We teach them to talk. All so we can spend the remainder of their time with us telling them to sit down and be quiet! More often than not the hair on the back of my neck stands up every time one of my boys utters the word mommy... Ahhh motherhood!

Twinpossible said...

I totally agree and can relate, however, at least I have a break up between the ages if you will. Teenager vs. 5 yrs old, vs. newborns. The only one completely driving me batty w/ questions would be 1 child, not 4. WOWSER! I'm sure I would have fallen off the edge by now, lol.

My 5 year old never stops talking. She talks her way to bed, and takes about an hour or more to just fall asleep and shut up, lmao.

When I was pregnant with her, I saw a commerecial with a father in a car and a little girl in the back annoyingly gabbing away and I said, 'Lord, don't give me one of those, that'd drive me nuts.' Guess what? God thought he'd be funny!

I emathize with you having more to contend with. My daughter asked me the other day if I knew what paleontologist (sp?), not even sure I have the word right, is?

I said I don't know. Sounds like a high risk preggo doctor, lol. NOPE. Now I'm the dummy and she knows all.

At least there is an end in sight. My boys weren't as big of gabbers as, she but this phase didn't last forever. Just keep remembering that, and GREAT featured post Natalie.

xoxo Shelly

MommaKiss said...

Girls. When my kids started babbling, I was excited, natch. But I seriously needed to invest in airport quality ear plugs with the constant chatter. Especially in the car. My mom visited and we couldn't have a conversation because the 2 in the back seats? Questions, comments, concerns. The entire 45 minutes. In. Sane.Thing is? When we go away and I call home, their little cartoony voices make me melt. Guess absence makes the heart do, um, something ;)

Jessica Jones, ATL Mom of 3 said...

sounds like my 3 year old...I swear he has been talking since the day he was born!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

OMG. I have 3 talkers & this is not a straight jacket I'm wearing, I prefer the term white leather coat. FYI- Girls are worse because they're mouthy. And these aren't Xanax I'm taking, their tic-tacs.

Mrsbear said...

Oh my, can I relate. Probably as unbearable as it gets is in the car, when we're in close quarters and the talking never stops and if it does it's only to be replaced by random nonsense sounds or worse still knock-knock jokes that make you wish you didn't have ear drums.

Good times.

Cascia said...

That sounds like my 3 year old as well.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Sometimes my kids talk and talk and TALK until my eyeballs cross. I feel like about half of it goes in one ear and out the other because I just all of it! I will get brain overload!

Karen Peterson said...

I know exactly what you're talking about. My nephew is 5 and NEVER STOPS.

But he's so darned cute, though. ;-)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

Blog Design by Likely Lola