Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Interview with the Experts: The Vacation Edition

With summer quickly approaching, most families are in the midst of making their vacation plans.

Some of us don't have the luxury of employing house managers, like Camille Grammer does...someone who ensures that our fridges are adequately stocked with our favorite goodies or makes sure the water in our own personal jacuzzi tub is set at exactly 78.4 degrees.

So, Cole and Bella have been generous enough to share some of their thoughts on vacations with us, to help you with your planning, of course...

1)  Where do all kids want to go on vacation?

Cole - Uh, Japan to see Yoshi and Disney Cruises

Bella - Disneyland, Marine World and Disney Cruises

2)  Where do all parents want to go on vacation?

Cole - Disney Cruises, Disneyland and Hawaii.  Maybe Japan or Marine World.

Bella - Ooooh, I can answer that.  Disneyland.  Or maybe Marine World.  No, Disneyland.

Me - I vote for Hawaii.

Cole - This is OUR interview.  You don't get to vote.

3)  Are vacations expensive?  

Cole - Hardly expensive.  Most of them are like 24-26 cents and that's not bad.  That's pretty affordable if you ask me.

Bella - Uh, YES, they're expensive.  Because you have to pay for them with the money you make from working.  Most vacations are around $1000 and that's a lot of money.  You could save your money for thousands of years and STILL never have enough to go on vacation.

4)  If you were a professional vacation planner, what would you plan for families to do on vacation?

Cole - Well, first I'd make them play games like Monopoly, Blokus and Uno.  Then they'd swim at the beach for a little while but be sure to avoid sharks with big mouths.  After swimming, the parents have to take their kids to a store, any store, and let the kids pick out whatever they want with your money.  When the kids go to bed, the parents can stay up and watch some television and hold hands.

Bella - Here's what my plan would be. The kids should play games, like freeze tag outside after eating lunch.  The moms should drink wine and the dads will drink beer but while they're drinking they need to watch their kids play.  Because kids can wander off and get accidentally buried in the sand.

5) Is it cool for parents to go on vacation without their kids?

Cole - No, never because then the kids would be home all alone and maybe a stranger would steal the kids, which would be sad because the moms and dads care about their kids so much.  You want to get your kids from that stranger but you don't know the stranger so you don't know their number.  That's why they call them strangers, you know.  Not because they're strange but because you don't know them.

So you just have to wait for the stranger to bring the kids back home.  And they will bring the kids back because the kids need to eat dinner and so does the stranger.  But don't invite the stranger over for dinner because they stole your kids and that's not okay.  Actually, you should probably call the police and tell them what the stranger did.

Me:  What about the idea of leaving the kids with a babysitter?

Cole:  Yeah, but some parents might forget to order a babysitter.  Kids cannot stay home alone.  So just take the kids with you.

Bella - No, never.  The parents wouldn't have any fun if they didn't bring the kids.

6)  How long should a vacation last?

Cole - 4 or 5 days.  After the 4th or 5th day, make sure you did everything you want to do.  Like on the last day, you have to take your kids to the Lego store and buy them stuff.  If not, the vacation has to go on for longer which costs more money.  About 25 cents more.

Bella - Like, until you die.  Never stay home, that's boring.  So, so, so boring.  Unless you get a new bike like I just did.  Mommy, did you write a blog post yet about my new bike?

Me - No, but I'm working on it.

Bella - Well, let me know when it's done so I can read it before everyone else does.

Me - Oh, what?  You need to check my work for spelling errors?

Bella - That's what my teacher does.  Someone has to check your work, too.

7)  How do you know when a vacation is over?

Cole - A vacation is over when all the fun is gone and everyone's bored.  Oh wait, I know.  When the kids are crying, that's when a vacation is over.

Me -  Then our vacations would be over before we even left the driveway.

Cole -  Ha ha.  Very funny.  But you're kinda right.

Bella - Vacations are over when the mom and dad say it's time to go home.  The kids probably won't want it to be over but we don't have any money so it's not like we have any say.  Or when someone pukes.  That ALWAYS happens.

8)  Do kids listen better to their parents when on vacation?  Why or why not?

Cole - Yes.  Because it's fun and the parents are having fun.  When everyone's having fun, no one wants to get in trouble.  As soon as someone gets in trouble, the vacation is over.

Bella - Um, yes.  I'm not sure why, though.  Probably because we want to enjoy ourselves and have fun but at home, we don't really care what our parents want.

9)  What kinds of foods should people eat?  Should they eat healthier while on vacation?

Cole -  Whatever you can find, you should eat.  Doesn't matter if it's healthy or not.  If it's someone's birthday, like your mom's, you have to eat cake because that makes her happy.  Make sure to have a party even though you're on vacation.  She'll be surprised.  Like, good surprised, not bad surprised where she's yelling at you and stuff.

Bella - Uh....Food.  Any food is fine.  Anything that makes your heart beat is good for you.

10)  Any other vacation tips you want to share?

Cole - Remember to bring sunscreen so you don't get all burnt up, bring favorite toys for your kids, bring a nightlight so they're not scared in the hotel room, and bring your iPod for the car but make sure it has lots of good music on it...no Justin Bieber or High School Musical stuff!  Vacations are about keeping your kids happy.

Bella - I don't got tips to share.  I hardly ever go on vacation.

Me - Shall I break out the violins now or later?  I didn't realize you were so underprivileged.

Bella - Maybe if you took us on more vacations, like on a Disney Cruise, we could give better tips to the parents.  That's all's I'm saying.

Cole -  She makes a good point, Mommy.

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Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Ok, this is just so adorable! Solid advice - hope my boys aren't disappointed when we don't head to Disneyworld this year ;-)

Nezzy said...

So are ya bookin' a Disney Cruise as we speak??? Heeehehehe!!!

I always get such a hoot and a half outta your interviews with the kiddos. That Bella has a pretty good handle on the realities of vacation....especially food..."anything that makes you heart beat!!!! That girl cracks me up!!!

God bless ya'll and have a terrific Tuesday...somehow I know it's gonna be interesting!!! :o)

Brooke said...

these are always the best posts :)

Charlene said...

Hahaha! I love these posts!

Carly said...

What would we do without the Experts..Love Them! Have a Great Day:)

Mighty M said...

Such a great post! Hmmm... Japan or Marine World? Hard to pick. :)

Jayme said...

I love these. They are my favorite part of your blog.

Also? I hate when my kids accidentally get buried in the sand.

Jen said...

Thank you for this. I have learned a few things, most importantly I don't think we will be going on any vacations. ;)

Marianne said...

"Like, until you die. Never stay home, that's boring. So, so, so boring."

Girlfriend is on to something, here!!!

I love their sassy answers haha

Heather said...

Cole was HILARIOUS talking about strangers. Did they just learn about stranger danger at school or something? Bella seems like she knows MUCH more about the cost of things ;)

Twins Squared said...

This was priceless! They are so funny. I have to agree with them on at least SOME things. Except Japan. Not really where I'd want to be right now - but the Disney Cruise and Hawaii sound fun! And you should definitely eat whatever you want on a vacation!

Kate said...

Too cute! Love their answers :)

Karen Peterson said...

You know, the Disney Cruise IS sailing out of Long Beach these days... Just sayin'.

Eva Gallant said...

Priceless! Love it. I hope you're getting the hint about going on a Disney Cruise or at least gong to Disneyland!

Tiffany said...

They are too hilarious, you may need to look into Disneyland :)

Shell said...

Oh yeah, no fun at all for the parents without the kids.

Oh, wait....

This Daddy said...

Those kids have the right idea of whats going on.

The Mother said...

Those answers change a bit at teenage years. Should parents vacation without their children? YES! (subtext: We can throw a party and mom and ded will NEVER find out!)

Megan said...

Boy. I think I'd need another vacation after a Cole/Bella vacation. No rest for the weary, eh?

Shawn said...

I see a Disney Cruise with lots of food, including cake, and no yelling in your future!

Those two cracked me up!

Creative Junkie said...

These are still my favorite kind of posts from you, Helene - they crack me up! Love the "are vacations expensive" thoughts.

Cindy said...

Your kids are pure. comic. gold.

I love the way they think.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

they are a hoot! You have to bring the kids, huh? I thought that might be the answer!

Holly said...

I love how Cole thinks everything costs 25 cents! Oh, and "When the kids are crying, that's when a vacation is over." could be a great blog subtitle. Or sub-subtitle. If there is such a thing.

Stephanie Faris said...

I love these! Very well said, from both of them.

What's a "house manager?" I need one of those! I assume this is part of the "Real Housewives" show she's on?

Mercy D'souza said...

I think that was the funniest one yet.

MiMi said...

Your kids are better behaved on vacation and listen to you more?? REALLY?!
Also, 24 to 26 cents. I want him to be president!

Lulu Lane Designs said...

That is so funny!!! I need to interview my kids one day to see how they would answer and then save it for them to see when they are parents!! :)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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