One evening, Bella and I went out for some good, old-fashioned mother-daughter bonding time. You know, shopping and sushi. Good times.
While driving along, we enjoyed a nice conversation until things took a turn for the worst.
It's conversations like the following that make my head throb violently....
Bella: Mommy, do you remember when I used to want to marry Troy from High School Musical?
Me: Yes, of course.
Bella: And now I want to marry Justin.
Me: Justin Bieber?
Bella: Yes, Justin Bieber. What was Troy's last name?
Me: His last name was Bolton, I think. But you know his real name is Zac Effron, right?
Bella: What? His real name? You mean he's not a real person?
Me: He's a real person...I mean, Zac Effron is a real person. But Troy was a character he played in the HSM movies.
Bella: So is Justin a real person?
Me: Yes, he's real.
Bella: What about the kid who sings Never Say Never with Justin? The Karate Kid?
Me: Jaden Smith? He's a real person. He played a character in the movie Karate Kid, though.
Bella: But he's in the Never Say Never video with Justin....
Me: Yeah because he sang the song with him.
Bella: But the song is from the movie, where he's the Karate Kid. You know what I'm talking about?
Me: Yes, I understand. And I'm telling you, he's a real kid. But he played a fake character on the Karate Kid.
Bella: I know and I'm telling YOU that doesn't make any sense. How can he be real if he's fake?
Me: He isn't fake. His character is fake. The kid is a real person who sang a song with Justin Bieber.
Bella: Wait, which kid are you talking about?
Me: Really? Are we really dancing in circles here? Okay, let me explain again....Jaden Smith is the kid who starred in Karate Kid but he played a fake character named Dre. Jaden Smith sang the song Never Say Never with Justin Bieber as a REAL person. Make sense?
Bella: Sooooo.....you're basically saying that the Karate Kid is real and no one's fake?
Me: OMG, are you even listening to me?!
Bella: Yeah I'm listening but you're obviously confused, Mommy.
Me: I'm confused?! Okay, whatever. End of conversation.
Bella: Is Hannah Montana a real person? Or is Miley Cyrus a fake person? They both sing so it's kind of hard to tell. And how can someone be FAKE? If they're a person, they're alive so they can't be fake. Cartoon characters are fake, right? But someone does their voices so maybe they're not fake. Like, Woody and Buzz aren't real but they have voices so maybe they are real or there's someone doing their voices who's real...
She continued having this one-sided conversation the rest of the drive to Target.
Upon entering the store, I immediately darted to the medicine aisle and picked up a bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol.
And thank goodness, I did because the conversation over dinner was just as traumatizing.
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