Thursday, April 21, 2011

Can someone just shoot me now?

One evening, Bella and I went out for some good, old-fashioned mother-daughter bonding time.  You know, shopping and sushi.  Good times.

While driving along, we enjoyed a nice conversation until things took a turn for the worst.

It's conversations like the following that make my head throb violently....

Bella:  Mommy, do you remember when I used to want to marry Troy from High School Musical?

Me:  Yes, of course.

Bella:  And now I want to marry Justin.

Me:  Justin Bieber?

Bella:  Yes, Justin Bieber.  What was Troy's last name?

Me:  His last name was Bolton, I think.  But you know his real name is Zac Effron, right?

Bella:  What?  His real name?  You mean he's not a real person?

Me:  He's a real person...I mean, Zac Effron is a real person.  But Troy was a character he played in the HSM movies.

Bella:  So is Justin a real person?

Me:  Yes,  he's real.

Bella:  What about the kid who sings Never Say Never with Justin?  The Karate Kid?

Me:  Jaden Smith?  He's a real person.  He played a character in the movie Karate Kid, though.

Bella:  But he's in the Never Say Never video with Justin....

Me:  Yeah because he sang the song with him.

Bella:  But the song is from the movie, where he's the Karate Kid.  You know what I'm talking about?

Me:  Yes, I understand.  And I'm telling you, he's a real kid.  But he played a fake character on the Karate Kid.

Bella:  I know and I'm telling YOU that doesn't make any sense.  How can he be real if he's fake?

Me:  He isn't fake.  His character is fake.  The kid is a real person who sang a song with Justin Bieber.

Bella:  Wait, which kid are you talking about?

Me:  Really?  Are we really dancing in circles here?  Okay, let me explain again....Jaden Smith is the kid who starred in Karate Kid but he played a fake character named Dre.  Jaden Smith sang the song Never Say Never with Justin Bieber as a REAL person.  Make sense?

Bella:  Sooooo.....you're basically saying that the Karate Kid is real and no one's fake?

Me:  OMG, are you even listening to me?!

Bella:  Yeah I'm listening but you're obviously confused, Mommy.

Me:  I'm confused?!  Okay, whatever.  End of conversation.

Bella:  Mommy?

Me:  What?

Bella:  Is Hannah Montana a real person?  Or is Miley Cyrus a fake person?  They both sing so it's kind of hard to tell.  And how can someone be FAKE?  If they're a person, they're alive so they can't be fake.  Cartoon characters are fake, right?  But someone does their voices so maybe they're not fake.  Like, Woody and Buzz aren't real but they have voices so maybe they are real or there's someone doing their voices who's real...

She continued having this one-sided conversation the rest of the drive to Target.

Upon entering the store, I immediately darted to the medicine aisle and picked up a bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol.  

And thank goodness, I did because the conversation over dinner was just as traumatizing.


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46 comments:

Jane Bitch said...

The smarter they are the harder they fall! Bwahaha!

I favor Advil Liqui-Gels. When we are out life is hard!

Tiffany said...

Ahhhh Bella, LOVE it. I think of you often now that I am pregnant. I worry about how we are going to do this... and then I think Helene did it with TWO sets of twins.. hehehe. Thanks for always making me laugh.

Brooke said...

quite obviously mommy is confused!! :P

sbswtp said...

hahaha :-) I Love it!

Nezzy said...

Poor Bella, it's hard to deal with such a 'confused' Mama! Heeehehehe!

Bella always makes my day!

God bless ya and thanks for entering my Happy Easter Giveaway...Good luck sweetie! :o)

Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

Hahaha! I would need some extra strength too!

Nobodys Nothings said...

just reading this post induced flashbacks for me... now i'm going to crawl into a corner and suck a bottle of wine.

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Just wait until she sprinkles one of these convos with some sex questions. Yes. It will happen. Then instead of popping Tylenol, you will want to seek out the nearest crystal meth dealer . . .
Just sayin'.
. . .at least that is how I felt!

:)

wonderchris said...

I thought you were going to tell her Justin Bieber was fake. Oh, man the worst April Fools for sweet Bella!!

Love the conversation - and I'm glad you survived!

SaraMG said...

this had me in stitches, so funny! And I thought it was difficult explaining things to a 3 year old...

Thanks for sharing Helene, and happy Easter :)

Jessica said...

I've had very similar conversations with my 7yo. The Montana/Cyrus situation was the hardest to explain because they are the same person.

Lulu Lane Designs said...

Ugh! It's like we want them to ask lots of questions and be curious and come to us for those questions but sometimes...OMG!!! Hello Xanex...

Karen Peterson said...

This sounds so much like the conversation I had with my nephew the other night over where Jabba the Hut is from. It just kept going around in circles and ended with him deciding that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kids!

pezzoni1 said...

My son got confused with the fake/real thing, too. I talked about pretending to be someone else, and that explanation helped.
I know where you are coming from with these conversations, though. *sigh*

Eva Gallant said...

Oh that is too funny. That's what you get for raising a smarty pants daughter. LOL She is sharp as a tack!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I love having boys, i love having boys, l love having boys...!!!

The Mother said...

I had a conversation like that a few minutes ago. With my 15 yo. Sorry...

Jen said...

Note to self, stop kids from watching TV now.

Jenn said...

seriously I laughed out loud, and my husband looked at me funny! :) Maybe if you draw a diagram? It works with my husband! (most of the time!)

Natalie said...

Oh wow! That would make anyone's head hurt...at the end of the conversation she would have confused me and I would have no idea what I was talking about! :)

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

A modern-day "Who's on First"! But at least you got some sushi, right? :)

Shell said...

Oh my. That is when you wish for one of those drive-thru margarita places near you.

middle child said...

Ahhh. The word you were looking for was....PRETEND.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

You know, I love you, but I'm so glad this happens to you too. Here's my conversation with Andrew, on Tuesday AFTER soccer practice.

A: "Mama, coach said the practice on Tuesday is optional."
Me: "Today IS Tuesday."
A: "No, the Tuesday of the week that ends in Friday."
Me: "Every week ends in Friday."
A: "No, the week that Easter is in."
Me: "Andrew, that's THIS week."
A: "Yeah. That Tuesday."
Me: "I'm done."

Jenny said...

LOL, I'm glad Abby doesn't know any of those people exist. I'd hate to have to explain that all to her. LOL!

Heather said...

When their logic starts making more sense than your logic than you know the conversation is going nowhere! Best just to distract them with something shiny!

Zeemaid said...

*LOL* I think we should get your Bella and my Emma together. Two peas in a pod. We've had that whole conversation re Hannah Montana and just try explaining to them that the imagination movers don't really have a warehouse and sing and dance with a mouse... oh yeah. ;)

Annie said...

Hahahaha, thanks for the laugh!!!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

And I see where your first conversation with her about sex is going to be like too! You may need to reach for something stronger than extra strength Tylenol. :)

Mamarazzi said...

hilarious!!
kids kill me with all that stuff.

i was thinking you should explain the Hanna Montanna/Miley Cyrus thing as an example for the Karate Kid/Jaden Smith thing...LOL


THEN she asked about Miley/ Hanna

too funny!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Why don't they come with a mute button?!?

Barbara said...

Even I'm confused now. who is real and who is fake again?

Cindy said...

Ah, the age of reason - they start (ha) questioning everything and really trying to understand stuff. Then they insist that they are right about whatever it is they "figured out" and we are just confused, or worse, not as smart as they are.

Bella is a hoot - great conversation that is awesome to read and not to have been a part of. :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Oh I've had MANY conversations like that with my daughter. Except I reach for wine and xanax. The hard shit. LOL

Kim said...

Ha! Ha! I don't even try to understand the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus circle of mystery.

Buckeroomama said...

I love Bella! :)

At least the conversation didn't go down the why-can't-I-marry-Justin/Troy route... that'll probably make your head spin even more!

Happy Easter!

Kakunaa said...

Okay, well I know what to prepare for, LOL.

Tiffany said...

They just keep getting better and better! At least you can kind of reason with her, just a bit. I have to let the 3 yo win.

ModernMom said...

LOL Oh this made me laugh...because I understood the entire thing!!

2Wired2Tired said...

Oh my! This sounds exactly like the conversations my daughter and I have been having lately! So many questions, with so many confusing answers. Kids really make you think sometimes, don't they? :)

blueviolet said...

They will go and go and go until you concede the point because it's just easier that way!

Alicia said...

LOL..when I read these, it feels like I was right there in the car too!!!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

OMG. Sounds like my trip to the beach last summer. I've stopped trying to explain, I just let them think what they want.

WhisperingWriter said...

Haha.

I think Miley Cyrus is a tad fake..

Cindy said...

Who's on First? Just shoot me now was a perfect title!

cooler said...

Really nice post! I really like The way you express your thoughts! keep it up!
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I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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