Friday, April 8, 2011

Making peace with time...




 “You need to give up the dream of having biological children,” the doctor stated, holding his patient’s hands tenderly within his.  “I’m afraid you’re at the bottom of the barrel, with nothing left to give.”
 
The room began to spin violently as his words vibrated in her ears.  Her brain couldn’t process the advice; her heart refused to accept the grim reality of what he was telling her.   This was not how she had imagined the outcome of this IVF cycle, as dreams of him wishing her a hearty congratulations faded to black.

He was supposed to be “the best”…a miracle worker who, she was told, could create life even in the most formidable of scenarios.  Yet, here he was, urging her to explore other options.

She was only 34 years old but, according to medical standards, had waited too long to have children.  While pursuing a higher education and waiting for the man of her dreams to propose, she had been robbed of the natural ability to conceive a child, unbeknownst to her.

We think we have nothing but time on our side, she foolishly believed.  But time was now her enemy, having stolen from her something so personal and precious, something so valuable that not even she could comprehend the distressing consequences of the situation. 

Even as her tired body was hopelessly and permanently broken; her spirit infinitely crushed, she begged for mercy and pleaded for understanding.  “Are you absolutely sure? Can't we try another protocol?  I just cannot give up on this strong desire to have a child who shares my DNA.” 

Her husband stood next to her, tears streaming down his face.  Never had he felt so powerless, as he wrapped his arms around his wife in an attempt to take away her heartache, but knowing full well that not even the tightest of hugs could erase the misery she was feeling.

With sympathetic eyes, her doctor met her gaze.   "At this point,” he said. “You need to decide if you   want to keep putting yourself through this disappointment, continuing to do IVF after IVF only to have the same devastating outcome. When is enough enough? When you're holding that baby in your arms, it won't matter how he or she got here.  You will be so overjoyed that you simply won't remember any of the pain you're feeling now. Believe me when I say you CAN do this.”

Forbidding herself to wallow in self-pity and recognizing that defeat was not an option, she would do whatever it took to achieve her end goal.  Time would not be permitted to swindle even more from her than it already had. 

With newfound strength and courage, as well as the support of her husband, she accepted an alternate course.  Choosing to rise above the grief and devastation and triumph past the anguish of a broken heart, she continuously reminded herself that anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Less than a year later, after having given birth to her first set of twins, she was content in knowing that varying paths can indeed lead to the same destination in the end, no matter what the means of transportation.

And then it was faith that brought back to her what time had stolen, with the unexpected pregnancy and birth of a second set of twins, two years later.  

Finally, she had made peace with time.  For it was time itself, through the wise words of her doctor, which had lead her down the road she was meant to travel in attaining the coveted role of motherhood.


Note: This piece was written as a part of The Red Dress Club's Red Writing Hood Meme. This week's prompt: Someone has stolen something from you (or your character).  Something of tremendous value.  What will you do to get it back?  Or will you give up?  Write a post - fiction or non - and tell us about it.  Word limit is 600.  


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18 comments:

Buckeroomama said...

You write really well, H. You do! :)

Brooke said...

sounds like a pretty amazing woman! ;)

Eva Gallant said...

I'm so glad you persisted! It's given you such great blog fodder! I just love all of your posts.

DaisyGal said...

I loved this, told from a 3rd point of view, it took on a different life that way, reminding us that there are lots of IF women.

I have a set of twins from IVF, (you know that) this spoke right to me, made me pause and of course be grateful :)

Great job.

Jack said...

she was content in knowing that varying paths can indeed lead to the same destination in the end, no matter what the means of transportation.

This is so very true.

Frume Sarah said...

Never had he felt so powerless, as he wrapped his arms around his wife in an attempt to take away her heartache, but knowing full well that not even the tightest of hugs could erase the misery she was feeling.

And yet, even knowing that he could not erase the pain, he still offered his physical presence as a sanctuary.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Your posts must give so much hope to people who are struggling with infertility.
You rock!

Alicia said...

I love your posts!!! There are not many people who can write long stories AND be interesting at the same time!

Erin said...

This is so inspiring. So beautifully written.

I'm so glad you got your hands full!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

For minute, I didn't even think it was you. Isn't it funny how we thought we'd never have a baby (or in my case more than 1) & end up with plenty!!! :)

Cheryl Lage said...

Love reading your writing, Helene...such a talent you have!

Kat said...

Amazing; what a story! You loved and supported each other and fate smiled down on you. Thank you for sharing

MiMi said...

What a beautiful story. Sad, but with such a good ending.

Angie @ The Little Mumma said...

I can't imagine what being sat down to hear that news must be like. Shattering.

But the ending? Oh, endings like those give you hope about the world. The infinite possibilities, the miracles.

So glad this isn't fiction!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Time is all you have when patiently waiting for your dreams to come true. Beautiful.

amybethinverness.com said...

A wonderful story!
I have also heard the fertility doctor say "There isn't much point in doing the same procedure over and over if it's not working..."
My little girl is 3 1/2 now!

Karen Peterson said...

I love your story, Helene. I know it's not always easy, but I don't believe I will EVER hear you say it wasn't worth it.

kc said...

you took me there....to that moment. This was beautifully written, for a moment it was me instead of you. And when you wrote about alternate paths, I was still right there! A really beautiful piece!!!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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