The summer garden. I have a love/hate relationship with it.
You see, it’s a lot of hard work.
In the beginning, as the weather becomes warmer, the kids and I start making a plan for what we want to grow…tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, watermelon, eggplant, green beans, herbs? The choices are endless.
Once we’ve made our decision on what to plant, we put our plan into action.
Normally, we’ve grown all our plants from seeds but due to the immense amount of guilt I feel when forced to thin out all the growth, I made the call to go with plants and avoid the hassle of seeds.
We hit the store one day to pick all our plants out.
People, this is an experience in and of itself…taking the 4 mini spawn to any store is hardly the highlight of my day. It’s not unusual for a total stranger to stare at them lovingly, commenting, “They are absolutely precious”….and then look away in horror when those same “precious” children pull one another’s pants down and attempt to smell each other’s asses.
So yeah…we’re at the store, sorting through the various vegetable and fruit plants. In less than 10 minutes, I’ve threatened them, I’ve pleaded with them, I’ve yelled at them.
Oh yes, people. I am that mom at Home Depot, desperately telling her kids, “If you all don’t stop hitting one another and start behaving, I will leave you here and throw myself into oncoming traffic”.
20 minutes later, we’re walking out of the store….the kids have their plants, I have a massive migraine and people are staring at us, as if they’re fully expecting to see Supernanny and her camera crew trailing behind us.
After arriving home, I’m way too wiped out to do any kind of gardening….well, that and the thought of spending any more quality time with the spawn makes me want to pull my hair out…one by one, by the root.
A few days later, the plants are threatening to die off if we don’t get them in the ground soon so a-gardening we will go.
However, two of the spawn have since decided they are SO over the whole gardening thing. It must be that lack of instant gratification….plus, plants can’t spit back at you so where’s the fun in that?
Let me introduce you to the two spawn who were more than happy to assist me in planting our 2011 Summer Garden….
Here’s Landon….properly equipped for a day of fun in the sun, becoming one with nature as he grows his very own greens. He’s ready to dig in and garden.
And here’s Bella….completely unequipped for a day of fun in the sun. Yes, she looks pretty darn cute wearing her cool shades but take a look at her feet. When’s the last time you saw someone gardening in high-heeled sandals, besides Brie on Desperate Housewives?
Whatever. It was so not worth arguing with her….and, let’s face it, I need all the free help I can get so I wasn’t about to nit-pick the fact that she insisted on wearing inappropriate gardening apparel.
After emptying two huge bags of garden soil into our little side yard area, we spread the soil where it needs to be and begin to dig holes for our plants. All the while, Bella is loudly whining about how gross the dirt feels squished between her toes.
I explain, “Well, I told you not to wear open-toed sandals”.
She shrugs her shoulders and replies, “Yeah but I wanted to look cute while I garden.”
And who can argue with that?
Before I know it, one of the spawn has traded in gardening for hanging out on the swing set with his brothers….but not before ripping a hole in one of my window screens with the handle of the shovel.
I have no idea how much it’ll be to repair it but, what the hell…it’s only money. And apparently, the spawn are under the assumption that we’ve planted a money tree somewhere in our yard.
While I’m inspecting the hole in the screen, another one of the spawn grabs my camera and shouts, “I’m going to take a picture of you Mommy….smile!!”
Fortunately, I was having a good hair day. Aren’t I absolutely stunning?!
No, that’s not a mistake. That is indeed a picture of me, except I’m on the ground and not in the sky. The kid can’t aim a camera to save his life but the thought and effort was certainly appreciated.
Finally….FINALLY…the plants were all in the ground, where they should be. Zucchini, yellow squash, green beans, eggplant, watermelon, tomatoes and cucumbers. Our summer garden is good to go.
And just as I’m about to call out to the spawn, “Okay, who’s ready to help me clean up all the gardening supplies?”, I notice I’m all by myself.
They are nowhere to be seen, conveniently. Until I hear a little voice coming from the family room window, “Hey, Mommy, did you know there’s a hole in this screen?”
Like I said already, the summer garden….I have a love/hate relationship with it.
Is it easy to see why?
So Yeah I’m Definitely Moving to Texas
6 hours ago