Monday, May 16, 2011

Now I've heard everything....

Just when I thought my kids couldn't come up with any more unbelievable, yet creative excuses to avoid bedtime, they still surprise me.

Here are a few I've jotted down in the last month...

The earth is spinning too fast and it's making me dizzy. 


I feel like I might puke up my entire skeleton.


I keep having nightmares that our grass is dead.


What if I wake up and my eyeballs are gone?


The moon is being too loud.


I'm afraid of peeing in my bed and Batman doesn't like kids who pee in their beds.


I want to dream about Justin Bieber but I always just end up dreaming about worms crawling inside apples.


I can't sleep because our room is the wrong color.


I don't want my arms to grow too long while I sleep.


Where is the sun right at this very minute?  What if it forgets to come back?


Does God ever sleep?  Who answers everyone's prayers if He sleeps?


Why do they say to count sheep if you can't fall asleep?  I'd rather count jellybeans or graham crackers.


What happens to our spit when we sleep?  I don't want my stomach to explode.


I think I hear birds chirping outside our window, probably because our clocks are wrong and it's really morning and not night time.



And my personal favorite (when Cole refused to eat dinner one night):


Cole:  My tummy hurts.  I'm probably gonna die because I didn't eat dinner.
Landon:  You won't die.
Bella:  Yeah, you're not gonna die.
Cole:  How do you know?
Bella:  Because Mommy always says there's starving kids in Africa and they're not dead, just hungry.


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42 comments:

wonderchris said...

Those kids are so creative - I love it.

My stomach sudden feels full of spit - and I may have a difficult time getting to sleep.

Thank you for writing these down and sharing!

melissa78 said...

I seriously love you kids!! theyare so funny!! :)

Lisa said...

I love the Africa one! Hahahahaha.

Natalie said...

Ha ha you really have some creative kiddos!

Missy said...

I love your kids! They crack me up. Heehee on the Africa one : )

SherilinR said...

your kids are great at creative avoidance! i'd rather count jelly beans too. oh wait, skip the counting, i just want to eat them.

Lulu Lane Designs said...

Ha!!! Those are hilarious!

lilscorpiosweetie79 said...

Hahaha.. too funny! I really liked the one about puking up the entire skeleton..

MiMi said...

Seriously!!! I had a dream last night that my dog got his toe cut off and Justin Beiber went to the Emergency Vet with me!!! WEIRD.

Nobodys Nothings said...

"I keep having nightmares that our grass is dead." now that one sounds like something my husband would say, and i love the fact that the moon is too loud in your neighborhood. my moon is just a boring, silent observer...

i love your kids.

-K said...

Hahhaha, Batman isn't that strict and yes our room is the wrong color too, so I'm gonna try the jellybean trick. Thanks!

January Dawn said...

Pure awesomeness. The loud moon, the counting of the jelly beans, the birds chirping because clearly, that means it's morning. It's all great stuff. Thanks for sharing....and for the laughs!

singedwingangel said...

I had to read these to my mom. She gets a kick out of hearing what Bella and Cole come up with.. She is a mother of twin girls, course they are in their 50's now lol

Emma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Em said...

I'm loving that "The moon is too loud!" I will have to use that one! hehe!

http://insightoftheshore.blogspot.com/

Eva Gallant said...

Thank you so much for making me smile when I needed to.

Jen said...

Your kids are awesome. :)

middle child said...

"I might puke up my whole skeleton.)??? Too funny. Are these for real? If so,...very creative kids. OMG. I would be laughing the whole day.

Rebecca said...

So funny! To have that kind of energy again...now I'm making excuses for why I have to go to bed!!

Karen Peterson said...

I love your kids!

Mercy D'souza said...

Too cute. I laughed at all of those.

Tina... said...

When my child says 'my stomach hurts.' I tend to listen cause I remember the cocoa puff fiasco a couple months ago. ugly thing to clean off carpet, course not as bad as blood.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

LOL

tell them one of the starving kids in africa woke this morning at 2.30 looking for milk! I don't know if Connor has the concept of DAY and night down yet :)

Roberta said...

HA! Kids say the darndest things! So very cute!

KSK said...

I wouldn't want to sleep either if there were a chance I'd wake up with no eyeballs and long monkey arms! :)
Your kids are so funny!

Deborah said...

"gonna puke up my entire skeleton" hahaha I might have to use that one myself...I mean if i ever feel that sick not to avoid bedtime. I personally love bedtime :)

Rhiannon said...

oh i just love it! these are awsome thanks so much for sharing

Rob said...

LOL. Love the reason but my favorite is I keep having nightmares that our grass is dead. This reason keeps me up at nights also. HAHA

Holly said...

Your kids are way creative. Mine just says he's hungry or thirsty.

(The moon is too loud! Heh!)

Karen Peterson said...

You should probably stop by and check out my blog for today (Tuesday)...

Teachinfourth said...

So that's why Batman doesn't like me...

Curses.

Jennifer said...

Your kids are incredibly witty and creative!! All I get at bedtime is a tantrum and I DON'T WANT TO!

Shell said...

Kids really do come up with all kinds of excuses for everything!

Kimberly said...

Well those are just the cutest excuses I've ever heard! So funny! It's things like that that make me just love children! I know as a mom it drives us crazy night after night but they are just so funny. Glad you wrote them down!

I'm just tired of mine picking up everything new or unfamiliar that they see and asking what it is and what it's for. Some things I can understand, but other things just aren't that important!!

Tiffany said...

Oh Bella.... I love it!

Nezzy said...

Oh the mind of a child...heeehehehe! Your kiddos crack me up and I soooo needed a good laugh right now. Thanks sweetie!

Enjoy your day sweetie! :o)

Angela said...

Loving this one!!!!

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

So cute, yet a little disturbing. Stomach full of spit - yuck. You have the most creative kids and so full of malarky - I love em!

aliceinwaiting said...

These made me laugh out loud! Your kids are very inventive to come up with these excuses. They may be great comedy writers some day. Awesome. :D

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Isn't it ironic how you fight bedtime so hard when you're little, and now as adults we'd give anything to get a few more hours' sleep?
Your kids crack me up!

Donna said...

Ah!! I LOVE it!! Those were awesome! So glad you kept a log - kids really do say the darndest things! You're kids are so full of creativity!

M. said...

i bet its never a dull moment in your house! your kids are beautiful and they sound like they are hilarious!

oh, kids say the FUNNIEST things.

and the cutest. ive heard my fair share.

"mahmee, will you stay here and kiss my head?" when wanting me to lay with him.

"Its so scary it maked me pooped!"

"mahmee, dont be disrespettfill." when i was play fighting with daddy...they are ALWAYS watching i swear :]

man alive, we are blessed blessed ladies :]

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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