Remember a couple weeks ago when the neighborhood bees went on strike and refused to pollinate my zucchini plants…and I had to take matters into my own hands??
Well, I’m proud to inform you that my self-pollination efforts (as humiliating as it was) have paid off!
My plants have given birth to tons of little zucchinis and yellow squashes! It’s such a beautiful sight that it literally brought tears to my eyes.
I'm such a sap...who knew?
So what do I attribute my success to?
I can honestly say it had something to do with the romantic little love song which I sang ever-so-softly to my poor infertile zucchini plants as I violated them with a q-tip.
Feel free to borrow the song...you know, just in case you too have barren vegetable plants.
(Sung to the tune of Summer Lovin from the movie Grease)
Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a zucchini crazy for me - I met a squash, cute as can be
Summer days witherin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights
Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more, did she bloom in the morn?
Tell me more, tell me more, like, is this zucchini porn?
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
She grew by me, such a hot mess - he leaned towards me, loved his soothing caress
I saved her life, she nearly wilted - he showed off, the other flowers felt jilted
Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more, did he make you say "oooooh"?
Tell me more, tell me more, did the other plants like the view?
We got gently watered, early in the day- we were wind blown, and together we swayed
We connected under the heat – no bees in sight, completely discreet
Summer fling don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more, did you make her bear fruit?
Tell me more, tell me more, if not, then your life is just moot.
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH
He got friendly, down in the dirt - well she got friendly, made my stamen hurt
He was sweet, a shade of bright green - well she was fragrant, you know what I
Tell me more, tell me more, how much pollen did he share?
Tell me more, tell me more, does she got another flower to spare?
Summer heat, boy and girl forced to meet, but uh-oh those summer nights
It turned colder, that was our fate- so I told her we'd still be
Then we made our true love vow - wonder if she's bloomin' now
Summer dreams raked at the seams, but oh, those summer nights
Tell me more, tell me more.
And, such as my luck, the damn bees finally made their way back AFTER I had already played doctor with my plants.
Friggin' Mother Nature.
Tiny Prints: 20% off all Holiday cards (Excluding William Arthur)
Code: JULYHOL | Expires: 7/28/2011 |
Let's talk about lunches... yours, not kids
1 hour ago