Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pouring My Heart Out...The Taste of Freedom



My kids go back to school today and I'm beyond thrilled.

Whew, I said it.  The cat's out of the bag.

You see, all summer long I've encountered various moms here and there who have said to me, "Can you believe how quickly this summer is passing us by?  It makes me sad to think of my kids going back to school."

Sad?!  Are you freakin' kidding me?

The only thing I'm sad about is the lazy days of summer being a thing of the past.  No more sleeping in, no more staying in our jammies until 12:00 noon, no more lounging around without a schedule.

So, yeah..."sad" isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe how I'm feeling.

Delighted....elated....happy....excited.

That's how I'd describe myself today.

And while some moms may spend their evening before the first day of school prepping everything for the next morning to go smoothly, I'm spending my time in prayer.

I'm praying that my kids don't cry when I drop them off because then it'll cut into MY free time.  I know I'll constantly be checking my watch as I'm wiping snot off their faces, thinking, "Dammit, now I only have 2 hours and 27 minutes to myself!"

Yes, I really did put that out there.  Why not?  This is me pouring my heart out.

I'm praying that they have a great day so I don't have to feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Wait, did that make sense?   Ugh, who cares.

I'm praying that the time goes by slower than molasses.  Because I'll actually have the time to watch the molasses drip ever-so-leisurely out of the bottle.

I'm praying that I don't appear to the teachers and the other parents as too eager to be relieved of my childcare responsibilities as I dash out the door, with my minivan leaving skid marks in the parking lot.

I'm praying I don't get a phone call at any point during the morning from a disgruntled preschool teacher saying, "Can you come pick up your child from school?  He didn't make it the bathroom in time and there's poop everywhere!"

I'm praying when I pick them all up from school, they greet me with smiles and happy reports of their day....rather than frowns and a "school totally sucks" attitude.

Don't get me wrong...I mean, I love my kids.  Like, REALLY love my kids with every ounce of my being.

But I'm done.  They have all but worn me out completely.  This summer exhausted the hell out of me.

We had fun...lots of it, too.  Swimming at the pool almost every day, going on vacations, taking friends to the amusement park, hanging out at various playgrounds.  We did it all....and then some.

I need my space.  I need to rejuvenate.  I need to hear my own thoughts, people.

And I can't apologize for how I feel.

I am THAT mom...the one who cannot wait for the first day of school so she can have some time to herself again, even if it is only for a measly 3 hours each day.  While Cole and Bella do attend school all day, Garrett and Landon only go to preschool for that 3 hours.

It's better than nothing and I'll happily take what I can get.

Also, because I know that at approximately 3:00 pm every day, that's when the shit hits the fan.  We're talking endless whining about not wanting to do homework, driving them all over God's creation to and from drawing class, soccer practice, dance class, Tim texting me from work with, "Sorry, sweetie, I'll be home late"....the chaos never ends.

I need my "me time" and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

The taste of freedom....it's good, people.  Real good.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go run around the house naked.

Because I can.


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38 comments:

Barbara said...

I think I will be the same when my kids go to school. Everyone needs "me" time!!

Eva Gallant said...

Back when I was a teacher, I had mixed feelings about the first day of school; my kids would no longer be in my hair all day, but everybody else's would be!

Kmama said...

I completely understand. Only, because I work, I sometimes REALLY look forward to Monday.

Singedwingangel said...

I hear you loud and clear. I have slacked on my blogging and reading because my kids were home. I had no time to just sit down and breathe. I am enjoying them being back in school..

Nobodys Nothings said...

trust me, you're NOT ALONE! i only have 2 kids, and only 1 of them's going to school... but i am really, reallly excited. relief from the fighting, only one set of crafty little feet to keep an eye on..... oh yes, i am happy that school has started. unfortunately i also have a little mom-guilt in there, because his first day of school didn't go so well. *sigh*

Natalie said...

Girl enjoy that time b/c you deserve it! I hope you get a glass a wine and a hot bubble bath!

SherilinR said...

i think you're smack dab in the middle of the normal train. who doesn't want a break from their kids, even if it's only 3 hrs a day? i homeschool & every aug-sept when everyone on facebook starts writing that school is back in session, i get a little jealous knowing that my break isn't coming, it's over.

Heather said...

Skid marks! Ha!
I too have mixed feelings. All 5 of mine will be cared for, but I will be teaching up someone elses. Oh well. Sometimes it is nice to swap for a few hours.

Enjoy your three hours today.

Merri Ann said...

My sister and her friends always planned a celebration party on the first day of school. She laughed about how much fun it was every year ... they would laugh and tell horror stories about the summer until they had to leave to pick up the kids ...

Me? I know I'm going to cry when my daughter walks in to her first day of Kindergarten. Maybe in a few weeks I'll get over it.

I love my free time but it takes me awhile to get back in the groove of dropping them off.

Samantha said...

I am you. Thank God. I feel guilty half the time. Bree doesn't start school for another year, so I have to get through this year...but next year, even it is only for 3 hours...I'm going to LOVE IT. I, like you, would like to be able to hear myself think...just for once.

Lisa said...

Bwhahaha. What a great post. I do relish the few moments where I don't have to be a mommy. The meals where I can eat without wiping someone's face, or picking a fork up off the floor, or cleaning up spilled milk, etc. :)

Amber said...

Have fun with your naked time!!

I can't believe kids are going back to school already (although they still have a good three weeks off here). Enjoy your "me" time!

Mighty M said...

Haha - I'd tell you to have a nice day but I don't think I need to!! :)

Amanda's Mom said...

I was totally that mom. I loved those Target commercials where the mom did cartwheels as the bus pulled away. Had I been able to do a cartwheel, I would have. Summer does wear moms out. And, moms need 'me time' or they are simply no good to anyone. Enjoy your space and DO NOT feel the slightest bit guilty. Trust me, they won't feel guilty when they leave home and you're wandering aimlessly. LOL

Sarah said...

you go girl

Jaclyn said...

I find blogs like this to be so refreshing! I find the My Child is The Sunshine of My Life All the Time blogs to be a little ... forced, maybe? You enjoy your freedom!! (And if you still stay in your pj's until noon, I swear I won't tell.)

Karen Peterson said...

I can imagine that I would pretty much feel the exact same way! And even with only ONE kid, let alone 4...

Kimberly Betts said...

First I have to say that I adore your blog and ready every post!
and I have to tell you how much this post in particular hit home for me. lol. For I am THAT mom as well. I enjoy my me time even though I still have two at home I enjoy having a reprieve from all three of my kids for the day. I love my children very and enjoy homework time even if it draves me crazy that my daughter refuses to do it without a fight. :)
anyway just wanted to say that the giggles I get from reading your blog help get me through the day!

Becky said...

I was the same way when mine went back to school last week!!!

I've been absent from my blog for awhile now, maybe soon I'll have something interesting to write about! :)

Jennifer said...

Preach, preach and PREACH! My son is only 3 and I'm trying to hurry him up in his potty training efforts so I can enroll him in preschool! But it's taking so loooong! LOL! Enjoy Mommy Time! I will be right there with you once my son is old enough to go to school!

Jen said...

I can't freaking wait for school to start this year because I too will be getting a break twice a week.

This summer has been exhausting so I totally feel your pain.

BTW, I don't know how I missed this but I LOVE the new look of your blog. Totally fabulous.

Missy said...

This year I'm right there with you. Though I do get sappy/sad about the milestone each new year represents. I've been going on ad nauseum about it for a week on my blog now AND I still have another week to squeeze a few more posts in!

But, really. The first week will probably be a blur of "whatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo" of excited ramblings, then I'll settle into MY day and OUR day (which also begins at 3).

Working Mommy said...

I definitely don't think you are the only one - and you are entitled to your feelings!! So prop up your feet and get out the molasses (hmm...that didn't sound too great)...enjoy your YOU time!!

WM

Rhiannon said...

good for you!! every mom needs her time! dance naked and enjoy your day! guilt free too!

Holly said...

Woo hoo! Did you enjoy your naked time?

I was definitely feeling this yesterday. Oof. School starts Monday.

Karen and Gerard said...

If I had kids, I think I'd feel the same way. Enjoy your free time--you deserve it and God knows you need it!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

This is why I love you!! Let me assure you that when I say I'm not ready for school to start it's because I hate throwing down all that money for school clothes & supplies, and I hate going back to the boring routine of going to bed early & getting up early. Oh AND helping with homework. Ugh!

Recovering Church Lady said...

Haha! Yep I get you totally! My sons used to get so bored and whiney by this time each year I could not wait for school to begin again. Enjoy!

Kristen said...

Helene - so many things I need to say. - The blog re-design looks great. Now... to the PYHO post. This is why Ray wouldn't let me quit. I really didn't want to be a SAHM to 3 kids under 3. I wanted to send them somewhere so I could have a little peace :)

You and I could totally be soul sisters.

Kristen @ www.alittlesomethingforme.com

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

Thank goodness SOMEBODY had the guts to say it. I am enjoying a quiet coffee in silence, blissful, joyful silence, and then it's all on at 3 pm.

This made me laugh out loud, "I'm praying that I don't appear to the teachers and the other parents as too eager to be relieved of my childcare responsibilities as I dash out the door, with my minivan leaving skid marks in the parking lot."

KSK said...

I believe I am the same kind... My daughter's one and I'm looking forward to her 1st day of school! ;)

Zeemaid said...

I'm so there with you. School doesn't start here until September but I am so ready for them to go back. It's like the first month they were great but then they hit the wall of... I can't stand being around my brother/sister for more than 5 minutes.... Oh happy happy joy joy

Shell said...

Love your honesty!

I joked last year that it's a good thing that the van has to be in park before the door would open. B/c otherwise, I might not have come to a complete stop at kindergarten drop off.

I've had anxiety about my middle son starting just b/c he has his own struggles. He's at his first day today.

My oldest starts next week and my baby starts preschool the week after that- and I am really looking forward to the quiet!

Tarah said...

We all need our "me" time and I don't think there is anything to feel guilty about! :) Enjoy your 3 hours!

mb2008 said...

LOVE this post!! I have 3-year-old twins and they start preschool in a month. I am so freakin' excited to have 2 hours a morning to not break up fights or deal with whining!! (first time I'll really have gotten any time to myself since they were born). All of my friends bemoan the start of school, so I feel like a freak...thanks for making me feel normal!!! Of course, I desperately hope they enjoy it as well so I won't end up feeling guilty too :)

blueviolet said...

You have your hands super full with all the kiddos. Nobody can fault you for enjoying some time just for YOU!

Twins Squared said...

Love, love, love this post! I can agree with you 100% on everything you said. I love what you said about feeling guilty about not feeling guilty! Also true about your 3 hours having any delay at all. 3 hours goes VERY fast. And so true about the 3 o'clock scramble. From that point on everything gets insane until 10pm for me. That's 7 hours right there! Talk about a work day! That doesn't include the morning madness and the rest of the hours you have just the 2 little ones.

We start big kids on Mon and little kids on Wed. I have tried not to think about it all summer and just enjoy summer for what it is. But I've had a few moments in the last few weeks where I've had just a bit of free time and now I can taste it. I'm ready.

I'm seeing FB posts from friends talking about how they're going to be crying and don't want summer to end, etc. Wow. Last year I was counting the days. This year I'm anticipating and looking forward to next week. I guess the fact that I'm not going out of my mind is a good sign that things are getting slightly better. But I don't know how I've done without ME time all summer. I need it desparately too. I love the end of this post. :) So happy for you you survived the summer and can get back on track with things!

shortmama said...

Imagine if you homeschooled your kids like me....hehe you wouldnt have those naked moments.

Love the new look by the way!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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