Friday, September 9, 2011

I confess....

1)  I confess that the word "caulk" makes me giggle like a 6th grader.

We're in the process of remodeling our kitchen.  Huge pain in the ass, by the way.  But it'll be worth it when it's all done...next week!!  I'll post pictures (before and after) once it's complete!

Obviously when it comes to remodel work, some caulking is necessary.  Listening to Tim and my stepdad throw that word around carelessly threw me into complete hysterics one day.

"Hey, Tim...you might need to throw some caulk in there," my stepdad said.

"Where?  Here?  You sure it needs to be caulked?  It looks like it's sealed pretty tight to me," Tim responded.

"Oh yeah, trust me, I know this shit.  And that shit needs a little caulk right there," my stepdad said in a serious tone.

They both stared at me as I doubled over in laughter.

And then I said, "Just a little caulk?  That's kind of disappointing."

Tim said, "No, what's disappointing is that you have your mind in the gutter always at the wrong time."

Whatever.

2)  I confess that when Cole politely asked me to stop sending him little love notes in his lunchbox from his Mommy, I pretended to cry, as if I had just learned that Krispy Kreme had gone out of business.

"Mommy, can you PLEASE stop putting notes in my lunchbox?" he had asked one day after school.

Cue tears and sniffling.

"But, but, but....you're my baby, my first born.  I send those notes so you'll know how much I think about you during the day when you're not home..."I began.

"Okay, okay...geez, stop crying about it.  You can go ahead and send me notes if it makes you THAT happy."

I did agree to discontinue beginning the notes with "Dear Marshmallow".  I can see how that might be a little bit embarrassing.

3)  I confess to letting my kids eat Fiber One Brownies for dinner the other night. 

Besides, the brownies are loaded with fiber and dark chocolate, both of which have proven to be heart healthy foods.

4)  I confess that sometimes I avoid making eye contact with people as a way of not having to greet them as they pass me by.

You know, the whole "I'm gonna reject you before you reject me" thing.  Call it snobby, call it rude...but I honestly think there's no worse feeling than saying hello to someone and they don't even acknowledge you.

Well, maybe not as bad as the feeling of your doctor gutting you like a fish in order to pry two tiny human beings from within your belly but still...I think you get my point.

5)  I confess that Cole and Bella have suckered me into baking their birthday cakes for them again this year.

After Garrett and Landon's Superhero cake last March, you may remember the post I wrote about swearing off baking for-evah.

Until Bella mentioned how cool it would be to have a sushi cake....and then Cole couldn't stop talking about wanting a dragon cake.

And just like every other mother out there, I want my kids to be happy.

Even if it means me slaving in the kitchen for 72 hours, drowning in a sea of confectioners sugar and fondant, to bring smiles to their little faces.

Even if it is the death of me.

And even if my whining and complaining about it makes Tim want to drive a 2 x 4 into the back of my head.

I want my kids to be happy, dammit.

Got a confession?  Then link up with the rest of us sinners!

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29 comments:

Rhiannon said...

Helen this one's for you!

http://youtu.be/tiPkYt09awo

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I would be gutted if Connor told me that!

As it is, he already says when I kiss and hug too much at night, "please go, Mummy" - I DIE!

Jenn said...

I'm with you on these. But especially the first one. Honestly, I was the only one in my college astronomy class who kept snickering whenever the prof referred to "the clouds of gas surrounding Uranus." I mean, COME ON, people. :)

Barbara said...

I am so guilty of #4. I think if my son asked me to stop leaving notes in his lunchbox I might actually cry.

Yankee Girl said...

Fiber One brownies are DELISH!!!

I usually have one for breakfast!

Heather said...

Cracking up about the brownies! I would have to agree that they are an excellent source of nutrition ;)

Nobodys Nothings said...

i confess... i once let my husband eat FIVE fiber one muffins (all at once) before i told him they were fiber one.

good luck making the cakes, i can't wait to see the post! (since you know, it's much easier reading about it than actually doing it)

Mrsbear said...

Didn't SNL have a whole skit about caulk with Alex Baldwin in it or someone? Caulk always makes me giggle too, but my husband goes along with it. Every time he mentions he's got to pick some up at Home Depot, he says "caulk as in c-a-u-l-k."

We have breakfast for dinner all the time. At least you're not forgetting to feed them something.

Eva Gallant said...

You are such a good mommy! I remember the wonderful cakes you made last year!

Emmy said...

You make cake decorating sound so fun! So sad when they get too old for love notes.

Deb said...

I just laughed my ass off at number 1. Glad I'm not the only one!

Tamika said...

I seriously did the very same laughter thing at my husband and a friend when they discussed using caulk as they did our bathroom downstairs....and now I'm laughing at the fact that I said "they did" and "caulk" in the same sentence......

Mercy D'souza said...

#4 is so me most of the time.

dddiva said...

I'm always the one with the mind in the gutter too. Ha. Some people just don't get it.

Charlene said...

I think if I were to ever meet you in person, I would be pissing in my pants laughing hysterically nonstop! You seriously crack me up!

Missy said...

I don't know what's up with the reading I'm doing tonight, but posts are either making me laugh hysterically or blubber like a baby. This caulking thing? Totally guffawing. Serious funny. Men - don't even see the humor!

Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom said...

ROFL...caulking makes me giggle like a school girl too! I'm sorry but that word is hilarious. I'm sure the men didn't appreciate you laughing though. Whatever!

I have never participated in this meme, but I sure have some confessions. Maybe I'll join in next week!

sarajo said...

Caulk. Duty. Pack the meat (a note on my SIL white board) all make my giggle like a school girl. I always have my head in the gutter!

I let my 3 year old just have two slices of bread for lunch today. That's what he wanted. Then he shared half with his brother. Mom of the year, right here!

Kimberly said...

Hee hee caulk.
I was also suckered into cake making this year.
Which only meant that I had the right to eat the biggest facken piece of it.

Maria said...

Well, about the cakes...we all knew it. I can´t imagine how a sushi cake looks like, haha, can´t you induce them to ask you for the cake YOU would want to do? I mean...sushi and dragons? You are a saint...
I loved the "having the mind in the gutter at the wrong time" haha...And, of course, I close my mind, and imagine you saying the "whatever" haha. You are super fun girl...

Twins Squared said...

Funny - Dear Marshmallow. I love it. Mine got upset because I didn't send them a note on the first day of school. Oops. I was always jealous of these bratty twin girls in junior high that would get these cute little notes from their mom, in JUNIOR HIGH! I think with girls you're never too old. But I can see how a boy's mom calling him marshmallow may set him up for teasing!

I avoid people too - I think we all do that!

mudmama said...

love the confessions...i relate to the "Marshmellow" love notes!

KSK said...

"And that shit needs a little caulk right there!" Hahahah! If you're NOT doubling over in laughter, there's something wrong with you! :)

**I can't relate to the notes with kids yet, but I used to pack my husbands lunch -(he eats healthier that way)- and I'd leave him little notes... I don't make his lunch anymore.. he said it was because I didn't make his sandwiches right... hmmm. :/

Zeemaid said...

I was amazed by your cakes. Makes me want to roll out the fondant but wait... I'm too lazy. Sometimes it's a good thing. ;0)

Jennifer said...

Oh, I like this confession thing! LOL! Hilarious! I'm with you on #4 - though I mostly avoid eye contact because I'm either not dressed to be social (stupid vanity) or I don't feel like being social (I don't have the time or energy to care about what's going on in someone else's life that day!).

Mom of 12 said...

I swear my oldest spent a whole year ruining birthday cakes just so I would agree to make them for her kids too.
Sandy

Julie said...

You should spend a day with me at my job. I swear you would wet yourself a little. Not only do I write caulking contracts, but I have to write up erection reports. When I first started this job, I couldn't get over the fact that no one even cracked a smile when they asked me about my erection report. Seriously, people!? That is pure comedy. What's even better, is I work in the construction industry and my company has been very diligent about making sure that all the men have been to classes about sexual harassment. They don't seem to think the women need to attend these classes and I take full advantage of this.
"How's your erection coming?"
"Are you having caulk issues?"
Every time I say something like that, the men get a deer in the headlights look. It is pure awesomeness!!

Jenn said...

I'm just catching up... My parents own several apartment 4 plexes and my Dad was remodeling one while my husband and I were in town. I alwasy helped him when I lived there (I love tools!), so we jumped in one day. My job was to caulk the bathroom, and they were short trim in one area, so my dad asked me to fill it in the best I could, and make it look good.... when I got done, I was so proud of myself, I yelled "I'm Caulk Master!"... the apartment was full of guys, my dad, my husband, little brother, dad's business partner, and 2 painters. Ya.... I still haven't lived that one down!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I totally do the avoiding eye contact thing. I'm so rude.
You are going to be legendary for your cakes!! You should start a business in your free time. Bahahaha!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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