Monday, October 24, 2011

What went down at the pumpkin patch 2011

It's that time of year again.

Time for my family to invade a nearby pumpkin patch.  We have to switch it up every year...you'll know why if you've read any of my posts from prior pumpkin patch visits.

This year, I was insistent on getting one decent picture of all 4 kids together so I could send out Christmas cards this year (instead of being that one lazy-ass friend who couldn't have been bothered).

The picture below was my first attempt.

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Doesn't it just scream "Christmas card photo"....what with Bella and her fake smile, Garrett looking as if he's desperately trying not to fart, Cole with his pumpkin rolling off his head and Landon who looks as if he just found out the awful truth that he's not adopted.

We stumbled upon this lovely little group of pumpkins immediately upon arriving at the patch.

Garrett announced, "Hey, look...4 pumpkins, just like us!"
Bella was quick to squish his excitement, "No, there's 6 of us in our family!"
He argued, "Yeah, but we have 4 kids and so do they!"
Never one to let someone else have the last word, she argued back, "How do you know these are the kids?  Where are the parents?"
Garrett responded, "Pumpkins don't have parents...DUH!"

The fun didn't end there, people.

Then they spent the next 5 minutes arguing over whether the bumpy pumpkin had a horrific case of warts or was just simply growing baby pumpkins on its skin....because that's how pumpkins procreate, in case you weren't aware.

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Another potential Christmas card photo gone wrong, with Cole looking as if he's attempting to give birth to a pumpkin...out of his ass.

And Landon, who was trying to come up with yet another reason why it was okay for him to keep the watch that he found in the parking lot, even though I told him some poor kid had lost it and would be crying for days.

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Yeah, here's another one, except I'm missing a kid...and didn't realize it until AFTER I took the picture.

What does that say about me as a mother?   Uh, that was a rhetorical question, people.

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In the farm area of the pumpkin patch, we spotted a mama goat with her babies.  I felt bad for her as she kept trying to get her babies' attention.

I would imagine she was saying, "Yo, don't go near those little humans.  Not only do they have strange looking eyes but they're covered in germs and snot.  Now, come here and eat this lovely bale of hay that I've lovingly prepared for you."

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And this is when I realized I could learn a lot from this mama goat.  She pretty much said, "To hell with you, you little ungrateful goats...I'm gonna eat my lunch."

Screw Dr. Phil and all his worldly advice.

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Say it with me, friends...another horrible Christmas card photo opp.

Not only did I shoot this picture from the wrong direction resulting in everyone's face being dark and shadowed but instead of standing near his beloved siblings, Cole is trying to hide a stick behind his back...which he intended on using to swat his sister in the back of the head shortly after the picture was taken.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas...we hope you have a peaceful holiday season with your loved ones" more than a young lad torturing his twin sister with a sharp object.

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And this is also when I realized that Landon was now wearing the watch that I had told him to turn in to one of the workers at the pumpkin patch.  Where's his freakin' Christmas spirit?

What could possibly be inside this little shack in the middle of the corn field that had other kids running away in fright?

You think my kids were afraid?

Hell no...after witnessing a gaggle of small children practically stumbling over one another to get away from the shack, mine were running towards it with excitement.

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Inside the shack, lives a scary werewolf who howls at little children and bares his sharp, bloodstained teeth.

Or, as my kids referred to it, "Hey guys, look.  It's Mommy when she gets mad at us!"

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I just love Bella and her "queen of the world" pose in this next picture.

Every girl needs a brother who has her back...unless of course it's to shove her IN the back off of a tall haystack so he can have center stage for once.

Obviously, this pic won't be making the Christmas card either.

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This next pic may actually be included on the Christmas card, only because I love Landon's pose, as if he's saying to himself, "I really really really wish I was adopted because the thought of being part of this family for the rest of my life makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork".

And he's still wearing that damn watch!

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This little guy...well, I guess he's not so little...waddled his way over to us and wanted the kids to pet him.

Yeah, a turkey who likes to be touched by young children.  But I guess if you knew you were going out with a bang as the main meal on someone's Thanksgiving dinner table, you'd want to live it up while you could too.

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This sweet, unsuspecting bunny got passed around from kid to kid to kid to kid...it was a never-ending circle of snotty-nosed kids crying, "I wanna hold the bunny".

The poor bunny finally closed its eyes and pretended to fall asleep, which just confirms for me that rabbits are rather stupid.

The kids mistakenly assumed that the bunny was enjoying all the attention, resulting in the torture session being even more prolonged than necessary.

But then again, rabbits don't have the luxury of high-tailing it to the laundry room, where they can lock themselves inside with a tall glass of wine and tune out the outside world.

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Notice there are no small whiny kids in this next picture...or animals...or even an unhappy, miserable husband who was threatened with his life if he didn't accompany his blessed family on a fun outing to the pumpkin patch.

Nope.  Just an endless field of beautiful sunflowers, where I sat for a good 10 minutes...while my family was off in the near distance creating a chaotic mess of noise.

And I thought...in my next life I want to come back as this sunflower.

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After sitting in that field of flowers and being one with nature, I felt an overwhelming sense of calmness and peace.

Not even the kids playing in the large pumpkin containers could shake me out of my zen state of mind.

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Don't be surprised if the above picture ends up making the front of our Christmas card.

Yes, I'm perfectly aware (this time) that one kid is missing from the picture and that no one is posing, flashing a beautiful, flawless smile.

But that's so us.  That's my family...imperfect, unbalanced and completely chaotic.  I wouldn't want it any other way.

And so, my friends, that is what went down at the pumpkin patch this year.

Oh and Landon did end up turning the watch in...and it's a good thing because the family of the child who had lost the watch had come back looking for it.  Guess my boy does have the Christmas spirit after all.  At least one of them does.

35 comments:

Lisa said...

I love this. So much. We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend too, but we didn't have nearly as much chaos as you did. Ah, the joy of toddlers. :)

My Mercurial Nature said...

Oh my word, the pics of them cuddling those bunnies was just heart-melting! So cute!

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I love your imperfection and chaos :)

And that pumpkin with the warts is giving me gooseflesh - ugghhhhh!

PS what happened with your appt the other day?

Barbara said...

Great pictures! The bumpy pumpkins kind of gross me out, I don't know why.

Heather said...

Wow, have your kids grown up! I cannot believe how much they and we have all changed since the dreaded IF days.
Love the pix!

Rhiannon said...

we dont have a pumpkin patch here, i'm trying to convince my friend who has a bunch of ag land to do one next year

Samantha said...

Looks like tons of fun! We went apple picking this past weekend. I posted pictures on my blog. Your family sounds like mine growing up :) I miss it.

Ginny Marie said...

I never got around to sending out Christmas cards last year. I'm determined to do it this year...but if my photos turn out like yours, I'm doomed! ;)

Emmy said...

I was having just about as good of luck getting pictures at the pumpkin patch- I just gave up a lot sooner than you :)
The pumpkin patch we went to last year also had a turkey you could pet- I didn't dare, creeped me out. They are big!

Eva Gallant said...

Great photos and a great family. I'm always amazed to see how much the twins have grown since I first started reading your blog!

Nezzy said...

Thanks for lettin' this old gal tag along to the pumpkin patch. What a fun ride it was!

Those little bunny pictures are just precious sweetie!!!

The boxed little 'pumpkin heads' probably says it all though.

God bless ya and have an extraordinary day with you precious clan!!! :o)

irishtwinsmommababybook said...

I loved the tale of your story of the pumpkin patch. Mine consisted of "I WANNA GO JUMP!!!" "Mommy, mommmmmy, mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy!!! I wanna go jump!"

Next time I need to photo the tantrums and things that I would rather not document, because, after the fact- it's quite funny.

You have a great family!! Happy Halloween!

Recovering Church Lady said...

This was so great! You have an awesome sense of humor and you write it well! Guess two sets of twins will do that to you or else....well you don't want the "or else." Ha!

KSK said...

Hahaha! You crack me up! I love the one where Cole is 'birthing a pumpkin' HAHA!!!
Maybe just crop their heads onto perfectly posed bodies?

Jayme said...

Your photos at the pumpkin patch are quite like ours for the last two years...

Sela Toki said...

What a thrilling invasion of the pumpkin patch. So much fun for the kids. Thanks for making me laugh with your cheery post. Awesome post.

Jenny said...

It's hard to get a Christmas pic of just one kid, let alone 4! It's a good thing you've started early.

Those bunnies are so cute, I love that pic of Bella and the baby bunny. Adorable!

LOL at your pumpkin patch excursion. We went last week with my sister and her boys and it was so stressful. The place was packed!

Healthier And Wealthier said...

Love your pictures! Sounds like a really fun day..And Christmas is a long way off. Isn't it?

Singedwingangel said...

These babies crack me up.. I can beat being around them for a few I would be laughing as hard as I could. However, I can also envision being around it full time and having the day dreams of maybe as the mommy I was kidnapped from I don't know a nice warm bed with a nice massage artist with magical fingers.. cause Lord knows I would need one with all their energy.

Holly said...

Heh! Oh....

Taking pictures of one kid is hard enough -- I can't imagine trying to get four kids looking nicely in the same direction.

One of my friends' Christmas cards featured her kids in a shopping cart. Not kidding.

HoneyDame said...

Look how much Garrett and LAndon have grown!!! somewhere in my mind they stopped growing from the picture of them as toddlers!I couldnt be wronger!
I just love how you write...I love...love it!

Missy said...

I was just laughing so hard the couch was shaking and my husband's like "what is your problem?" And I'm like, "read this! READ THIS!" He thinks I've gone nuts.

edshunnybunny said...

I loved this! Thanks for my morning laugh...and by the way, I think any one of those photos would make quite an "interesting" Christmas card! LOL

Melissa said...

Wow, 2 sets of twins! There's a special place in heaven for you, my friend. Looks like you all had a great fun at the pumpkin patch We're taking our (only) little one on Thurs along with some other friends and their babies. Can't wait! So glad to have met you today!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I love all your pictures! I suspect mine would have had a rough time relinquishing the watch as well. We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend too - many adventures - but they won't post until Friday.

myinnerchick.com said...

--You must use more than one photo for you Christmas Cards! They are all FAB!

I'll be looking for mine in the mail :))) x

Stephanie P said...

How funny - I was at that same pumpkin patch last weekend - such a great family farm! I only had 1 I was trying to get pictures of (unsuccessfully), can't imagine trying to get 4 kids to sit still long enough for a picture!

Karen Peterson said...

I've never seen a warty pumpkin before!

Looks like another day in paradise!

Natalie said...

Ha ha too funny! Yes I guess it is pretty challenging to get a good pic of all 4 kids. Love the pic and explanation of the warty pumpkin!

Jessica said...

I think you should use the sunflower picture for your Christmas card. You could even photoshop a santa hat on it.

Bethany said...

Growing pumpkin babies on the outside...omg. I love it! That's too funny. I'm glad you had a great trip to the pumpkin patch. We didn't even make it there due to two weeks of stomach flu..ugh! There's always next year. :)

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

Those bunny pictures make me want to cry...too cute! You could do a montage of those for your card (but aren't you missing on of those too?). Looks like a great day and no one slipped to the other side through thievery!

Kimberly said...

Oh man...and I thought having to contend with one child for photos was torture...eeeks.

MiMi said...

That BUNNY is SOOOOO cute!!
That turkey scares me. It must be tame cuz those bastids can be mean.
That pumpkin...with the warts? I know of a lady in my town who has those bumps that look exactly like that all over her body. It's gross, but she's SO nice. Really a lovely person. But that pumpkin totally made me think of her first thing. Weird. I'm such a jerk.

Melanie said...

I saw a link for this post at Literal Mom and just had to stop by. So glad I did. I can't stop smiling!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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