Cole: Mommy, when are you going to die?
Me: Not for a very long time.
Cole: Does everyone die?
Me: Yes, when we're old and gray.
Cole: How will I know when you die?
Bella: You won't even notice when she dies.
Me: Really? Why's that?
Bella: Because we'll still have pictures of you to look at so it won't be like you're really dead.
Garrett: Landon, if I give you one of my butter cups, will you be my best friend?
Garrett: Okay, you can have one. But you have to be my best friend, okay?
Landon: Alright, but then you have to give me another one if you want me to be your best friend again in a couple hours.
Apparently, friendship CAN be bought...but only for a couple hours.
Me: Cole, how come every time you poop, you manage to clog the toilet?
Cole: I dunno, probably cuz my poop has metal in it.
Is that a slam somehow against my cooking?!
Bella: Cole, no kissing anyone until after you're married.
Cole: That's not the order.
Bella: Yeah, it is. Remember it's college, career, marriage and then kids.
Cole: No, after marriage is death.
Bella: No, it's not!
Cole: For me it is!
Spoken like a true male.
Landon: Mommy, I want to marry you.
Me: Awww, that's sweet but you can't marry me. I'm already married to Daddy.
Landon: That's okay. He won't care.
Me: You think?
Landon: He doesn't even listen to you when you talk to him.
Well, he does have a point.
Bella: Hey Mommy, we're coming up with a plan to trap Santa when he comes to our house on Christmas Eve.
Bella: Yeah, we're gonna ask him if he's real.
Me: Uh, pardon my stupidity but if you're able to trap him, doesn't that already tell you that he's real?
Bella: (sighing) It could be an elf, covering for Santa.
Me: Oh, I see.
Bella (to Garrett, who merely shrugged his shoulders): Why do parents think they know everything when it's obvious they really don't know anything?
No matter how hard we try, they always have to one-up us.
OM and Ohms
1 day ago