1) I confess that I failed to take a picture of my kids on Thanksgiving, as we sat around the table enjoying a delicious dinner and talking about all the things we were grateful for.
But you can bet your sweet ass I remembered to take a picture of my scrumptious 16-pound turkey, which I cooked to perfection...
2) I confess that I'm envious of those moms who (wisely) have one baby at a time. Yes, the circus freak in me desires to be "normal". Who knew?
3) I confess I watched the series premiere of Kim and Kourtney Take New York. Like, I'm not proud of this admission but it was like a train wreck that I could not tear my eyes away from. Like, you know?
4) I confess that while watching that God-awful reality show I found myself wondering why no one has come up with the "Like, you know" drinking game. Like, you know, every time Kim or Kourtney says the phrase "Like, you know", you have to take a shot.
But then again, you really wouldn't be able to keep track of the word because like, you know, you'd be drunk within the first 6 minutes of the show.
5) I confess that I threatened to use the picture below of Cole on our Christmas card since he refused to give me a decent smile...
However, after he cried for what seemed like an eternity and accused me of forever ruining his life if I dared to follow through on my threat, I couldn't continue with the "evil" act. I chose another picture...a much more friendlier picture of him.
And, yes, he now owes me his first born child.
6) I confess that when my sister told me that my 14-year old nephew said, "Helene's so funny on Facebook. Where does she come up with this stuff? Why aren't you like that?", I actually felt superior to her for once.
My first thought was, "Hahahaha, your kid thinks I'm cool. I actually have this whole 'cool parent' thing in the bag!"
Don't worry. I was hit square in the face with the realization that no matter how cool other kids might think I am, my own kids will probably be mortified by my every action.
6) I confess that as witty and sarcastic as I can be at times, I was at a total loss when Garrett came home from preschool recently and announced that one of his little friends told him that Santa Claus was not real.
I freaked the hell out and immediately put out an S.O.S. on Facebook for suggestions on what to do. Most everyone recommended the "you don't believe, you don't receive" method of handling such an extreme situation, which I did.
He had already told his siblings the bit of juicy information that his friend had shared with him so I sat down with all of them and gave them the speech. They fell for it...hook, line and sinker.
Until the other day, when Bella told me they're plotting to capture Santa Claus when he enters our home on Christmas eve. And if there's one thing I know about my children, they will not rest until they have him in their clutches.
These kids are going to drive me to an early grave. Lord help me.
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