I'm feeling very random today so here we go...

1) I'm completely convinced that Facebook's whole recent update is merely a way for them to make each and every one of us feel unimportant, even though they claim it's their way of helping us stay up to date on our friends' busy lives.

You see, now that there's a little feeder on the side of my FB page which shows every single one of my friends' comments and likes on other people's pages, I can see when friends of mine are getting together, having a great time and creating little inside jokes....without me.

So yeah, thanks Facebook...it wasn't as if I was already insecure as it was.

2)  We're going on Week 4 of the Kitchen Remodel From Hell.   Yes, I said Week 4.

I watch all those DIY and HGTV shows, like Renovation Realities, etc.  How come their makeovers are always done in 30 minutes...and mine takes FOUR freakin' weeks??

On a positive note, both Tim and I only got electrocuted one time each so we have that going for us.  We each still have 10 fingers and 10 toes...in tact.  And neither of us has asked for a divorce...yet.

Don't ever accuse me of being a "glass is half empty" kind of person.

3)  I'm taking my sister to a day spa this morning for a massage as a belated birthday present.  Should it be concerning to me that I took the time to shave my legs and find a nice pair of underwear to wear for a total stranger who will be spending approximately 60 minutes with me and who I'll probably never ever see again?

Not really, you say.

Well, now...how about when I tell you that my usual warning to Tim when he asks for some action is "Uh, if you don't mind that I haven't shaved my legs in a couple days and that I really don't want to take ALL my clothes off, sure...we can go for it".

4)   What is so difficult about giving another driver a courtesy wave when they let you go in front of them?  Even my KIDS know that's so not cool, as evidenced by the following "observation":

Cole:  Hey, you just let that person go in front of you and she didn't give you a thank-you wave!  That's SO rude.  But maybe her arm's broken so she can't wave.  But if her arm was broken then she wouldn't be able to drive.  So I guess she's just rude.  I feel bad for her kids.

Me:  Why do you feel bad for her kids?

Cole:  Because they're going to inherit her rudeness.  Rude mom equals rude kids.  It's a fact of life, Mommy.

Me:  Where do you get this stuff from?

Cole:  From my brain.  It's called an "observation".

Me:  You scare me sometimes.

Cole:  And it's not even Halloween yet.

My latest Facebook status updates:

Tim was trying to explain to Bella the difference between failing and succeeding. After he left the room, she was giving me examples and she goes, "So, when Daddy was trying to screw that thing earlier, he was failing, not succeeding".

Apparently, she was referring to Tim trying to install the new dishwasher. I couldn't stop laughing.

She goes, "What's so funny? Has Daddy ever been successful when he screwed before?"

I. Could. Not. Breathe.

====================================


Cole just said to me, "Mommy, you know how you used to complain about having to wipe my butt for me? Well, did you know that mother tigers have to LICK their babies clean? See, it's a good thing you're not a tiger!"

Well, now...that sure does put things into perspective, doesn't it?

====================================

Me: Landon, your homework is due tomorrow.
Landon: It's not tomorrow yet.
Me: Yes, but tomorrow it'll be tomorrow and that's when it's due.
Landon: But today isn't tomorrow.
Me: Your homework is due TOMORROW so you need to do it TODAY!
Landon: But it's not tomorrow.

I swear, this is the reason why I drink wine on a nightly basis.

=====================================

I'm an open book, for the most part, I believe.  I've written about the ups and downs of my marriage...the good, the bad, the ugly.   It's all here, for the world to see.

My most recent post regarding my marriage was written not too long ago, when Tim and I had taken a little mini-vacation...just the two of us.  We rediscovered who we were as a couple, as best friends and, perhaps most importantly, partners for life.

But, as they say, the good times don't last for long and before I knew it, we found ourselves stuck in a valley yet again.

Marriage is hard work.  Damn straight.

When Dr. Jennifer Gill Rosier, a mother of twins herself, contacted me to inquire if I'd be interested in reading and reviewing her new book Make Love, Not Scrapbooks...a book dedicated to sharing several research-based love tips to intensify a relationship, I was totally game.

The first thing that struck me about Jen's book is that it reads just like a conversation you'd have with a good friend...you know, over coffee as you spill your guts and admit how badly your husband pissed you off the other day, while she nods her head in agreement and says, "You're preaching to the choir, sister".

So here's the thing...most of the research-based love tips were things that Tim and I were already aware of.  Tim even said as much when I pleaded with him to read the book after I had already finished it...in one day, I might add, because it was THAT great of a read.

"Why should I read it?" he had asked.  "It sounds like it's full of information we already know."

I answered, "That's true.  I'll give you that.  But...and this is a huge BUT, if we're so smart and we already know this stuff, why are we not practicing all these things?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

I continued, "Well, I'll tell you why....because it's overwhelming and it seems like a lot of work so we get stuck in this 'why bother' attitude.  The author of the book talks about being supportive, spicing up your sex life, how to keep things positive and manage conflict.  Simple little things that go a long way.  But she doesn't just WRITE about it, she explains HOW to do it successfully.  I don't know...I found it very inspiring, encouraging and made me want to take action."

Tim chewed on that for several seconds and then finally said, "Okay, I'll read it, especially if it means getting some action."

"Uh, I said, it made me want to TAKE action, not GET action but I suppose that would be a good start," I replied.

Because he reads super slow, I haven't been able to get his final opinion on the book.  But let's just say, I'm thrilled that he at least agreed to read it.

I really appreciated Jen's humor in dealing with such a serious subject matter.  She doesn't come across as someone who knows more than you...she comes across as someone who's "been there, done that" and genuinely wants to help you achieve and/or maintain a happy marriage.

And I absolutely LOVE that she has helpful quotes from other couples scattered throughout the book, explaining how they deal with specific issues, as well as words of inspiration.

Tim and I are guilty of muttering simple "I love you's" to one another, without much thought about the meaning behind those three little words.  But when was the last time we had been more creative about expressing our love to one another...like, as Jen suggests, "I cherish you" and "I want to be with you always"?

To be honest, I don't think either of us has ever said anything more romantic to one another than "I love you".  But I would imagine the day Tim comes to me and says, "I'm better because of you", he will have won my heart completely all over again.

Words and actions, people.  That's what it comes down to.  And it's about not waiting for your partner to make the first move...we have to be willing to step it up, as well.

And with Jen's Make Love, Not Scrapbooks, we have no more excuses.  She elaborates on the tips in great detail, even making lists and using bullet points to make it more manageable, which I love!  And she writes about the results you should see once you begin to implement her suggestions.

Jen's honesty is refreshing, the research is proven and the book will quickly become your "go to" manual when you need reassurance and assistance, as well as stimulating and exciting ideas.

Even if your marriage is already on good terms and/or you just got hitched, the book is still a great reference for ways to keep the flame burning brighter.

You can read more about Make Love, Not Scrapbooks by visiting Jen's website at http://www.makelovenotscrapbooks.com/.

WIN A SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK

Jen has generously offered one of my readers his/her own signed copy of the book!

To enter the giveaway, simply leave me a comment telling me what you and your partner do to keep the love alive in your relationship.  

If your e-mail isn't visible in your profile, please leave it in your comment.

For extra entries: (please leave me a comment for each entry)

1)  Become a follower of Jen's blog, Jen's Love Lessons (tell me which # follower you are)
2)  Like Jen's Facebook fan page (and tell me which # follower you are)
3)  Tweet and/or Facebook about this giveaway (and leave me the URL in a comment)
4)  Write a blog post about this giveaway (and leave me the URL)

This giveaway ends on Wednesday, September 28, 2011 at 9:00 pm PST.  The winner will be chosen via Random.org and notified by e-mail.



*  I received a complimentary copy of Jen's book for the purpose of this review.  This review is based on my honest opinion of the book, as well as my personal experience.

Shell at Things I Can't Say is hosting another fun meme where she's asking her readers to share some of their magic moments caught on film.

Here are a few of the magic moments that we captured to be treasured for a lifetime....

The first beginning moments of motherhood.  Tim took this picture of me smiling at my firstborn, Cole, who was immediately whisked away to the NICU after it was taken.  

I didn't see Cole for the next 24 hours so this picture was priceless to me, as I was able to view it often while I counted down the hours until I could be reunited with him.



Our very first family portrait.  It wasn't professionally taken, obviously.  But one of the nurses in the NICU happened to walk by us as we were marveling over our precious babies.

She quickly grabbed our camera and said, "Your first family picture...this is definitely something you want to remember!"



Garrett and Landon's first Halloween.  I just love this picture...still makes me laugh so hard to the point where I cry.



Totally love this picture of all 4 of my babies.  It was so rare to get a good picture of all of them together so this was a classic for sure.



This pic of Garrett and Landon sitting in the front of the television watching a Baby Einstein DVD always makes me smile.

They just look so incredibly tiny in this huge room.  There were a million toys to play with but the minute one of the Einstein DVD's would come on, it captivated every ounce of their attention and they'd sit there for the entire video, right next to one another.



This was our first Christmas as a family of 6.  It's not the happiest picture of all the kids that my friend Bonnie took that day but it's the one that captured all the right emotions of that moment...2 kids completely wiped out and grumpy, 1 kid totally slap-happy and giggly and another child who was bordering a major tantrum.

Merry Freakin' Christmas.

1)  I confess that the word "caulk" makes me giggle like a 6th grader.

We're in the process of remodeling our kitchen.  Huge pain in the ass, by the way.  But it'll be worth it when it's all done...next week!!  I'll post pictures (before and after) once it's complete!

Obviously when it comes to remodel work, some caulking is necessary.  Listening to Tim and my stepdad throw that word around carelessly threw me into complete hysterics one day.

"Hey, Tim...you might need to throw some caulk in there," my stepdad said.

"Where?  Here?  You sure it needs to be caulked?  It looks like it's sealed pretty tight to me," Tim responded.

"Oh yeah, trust me, I know this shit.  And that shit needs a little caulk right there," my stepdad said in a serious tone.

They both stared at me as I doubled over in laughter.

And then I said, "Just a little caulk?  That's kind of disappointing."

Tim said, "No, what's disappointing is that you have your mind in the gutter always at the wrong time."

Whatever.

2)  I confess that when Cole politely asked me to stop sending him little love notes in his lunchbox from his Mommy, I pretended to cry, as if I had just learned that Krispy Kreme had gone out of business.

"Mommy, can you PLEASE stop putting notes in my lunchbox?" he had asked one day after school.

Cue tears and sniffling.

"But, but, but....you're my baby, my first born.  I send those notes so you'll know how much I think about you during the day when you're not home..."I began.

"Okay, okay...geez, stop crying about it.  You can go ahead and send me notes if it makes you THAT happy."

I did agree to discontinue beginning the notes with "Dear Marshmallow".  I can see how that might be a little bit embarrassing.

3)  I confess to letting my kids eat Fiber One Brownies for dinner the other night. 

Besides, the brownies are loaded with fiber and dark chocolate, both of which have proven to be heart healthy foods.

4)  I confess that sometimes I avoid making eye contact with people as a way of not having to greet them as they pass me by.

You know, the whole "I'm gonna reject you before you reject me" thing.  Call it snobby, call it rude...but I honestly think there's no worse feeling than saying hello to someone and they don't even acknowledge you.

Well, maybe not as bad as the feeling of your doctor gutting you like a fish in order to pry two tiny human beings from within your belly but still...I think you get my point.

5)  I confess that Cole and Bella have suckered me into baking their birthday cakes for them again this year.

After Garrett and Landon's Superhero cake last March, you may remember the post I wrote about swearing off baking for-evah.

Until Bella mentioned how cool it would be to have a sushi cake....and then Cole couldn't stop talking about wanting a dragon cake.

And just like every other mother out there, I want my kids to be happy.

Even if it means me slaving in the kitchen for 72 hours, drowning in a sea of confectioners sugar and fondant, to bring smiles to their little faces.

Even if it is the death of me.

And even if my whining and complaining about it makes Tim want to drive a 2 x 4 into the back of my head.

I want my kids to be happy, dammit.

Got a confession?  Then link up with the rest of us sinners!

Mean girls.  That's what we're dealing with over here.

If there is a positive side to this, it is that Bella doesn't realize that these girls are "mean" as of yet.  She can still see the good in people, no matter what they do.

But I see it as crystal clear as any other adult who has had her fair share of dealings with mean girls.

Tonight, as I was rubbing Bella's back as she fell asleep, she whispered, "Mommy, Macie said I can't talk to her at lunch anymore because we're not in the same class this year".

She continued, "She said I can sit next to her but I can't talk to her."

I asked, "What did you say?"

"I didn't talk to her.  I just ate my lunch," she explained.

"Bella", I began.  "No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do.  There is no rule saying you can't talk to someone who isn't in your class.  In fact, lunch time is the ONE time the entire 2nd grade is together so lunch is a great time to catch up with those friends who aren't in your class."

Before responding, she seemed to take in what I had just said to her.

"But she said we can't talk anymore," Bella argued with me.

"Listen, you can still be friends with someone who is not in your class.  Friendships are not dictated by rules like that.  A true friend is your friend through thick and thin, whether you sit next to each other in class or you're separated by 3000 miles.  Why would you want to be friends with someone who's continually changing the rules on you and treating you so badly?" I said.

"Your worth more than that, aren't you?" I asked her, as tears stung my eyes.

She sat up and held my hand gently.

"Mommy, you know Cameron?  She doesn't have any friends.  There's this small group of girls who hang out because they sing together and they don't like her," she stated.

Upon hearing this, my heart broke for Cameron because, while I don't know her very well, she seems like such a sweet girl.

"Well," I said.  "Maybe you should ask Cameron if you can sit with her at lunch tomorrow.  It sounds like she could use a good friend, don't you think?"

She answered, "Yeah, she probably does need a friend.  But I don't understand why the group doesn't like her.  We're all in the same grade.  It doesn't make any sense."

I sighed in frustration and sadness, knowing that this 2nd grade school year is just the beginning of her encounter with mean girls.

"Bella, you're going to find in life that some people have good hearts and they will accept you no matter what.  Those are the people you want to be friends with.  Those are the friends who will be loyal to the end."

I continued, "However, the people with mean hearts, the ones who put strict terms on friendship and hang out in small groups who exclude others for no good reason...well, those are the people who are not worth your time or attention.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella nodded her head, "Yes, I think so.  I just wish friendships weren't so hard sometimes."

"Me, too, Peanut...me too," I agreed.

Did I say the right thing?  Will she remember my words the next time she has a run in with a mean girl?   How do I stop myself from driving over to the school and kicking those little girls' asses all over the playground?

I certainly don't have all the answers and I feel like every word out of my mouth must be chosen cautiously.

Have you had to have a similar conversation with your children about how to deal with mean kids?  I'd love to hear how you handled the situation.