It happened, people. It FINALLY happened.
I knew eventually my time would come if I could just learn to be a little more patient.
Over the years, I'd listened to friends brag about their experiences and I'd seethe with insane jealousy.
I'm a good person...how come I was never one of the fortunate ones? When would it be MY time?
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia....
Well, friends...my time finally came.
I took the kids shopping for new shoes and, the first time ever, I didn't want to run out of the store and throw myself into oncoming traffic.
We went to two different stores. First, was Payless Shoe Source because I'm cheap and Garrett and Landon go through shoes quicker than Kim Kardashian goes through husbands.
The store manager measured their feet and, within ten minutes, they each had picked out a pair of shoes that made them squeal with delight. TEN MINUTES. That's like a world record when it comes to picky preschoolers finding that exact perfect shoe.
I paid for the shoes and tried not to keel over in shock when both boys shouted, "Thank you for our new shoes, Mommy!"
Okay, who spiked the Kool Aid?
On our way over to the other store, I couldn't stop gushing about their impressive behavior.
"I was super proud of your behavior in the shoe store. You all stayed together, you didn't pull endless boxes of shoes off the shelf, you helped each other...there were no tears, no snot, no foul smells randomly emitted. Seriously, I'm beyond thrilled with how well behaved you guys were!"
They were all smiles...getting along fabulously, singing along to the radio.
WTF? Was this really happening? Best not to overanalyze it...
At the second store, Big 5 Sporting Goods, Cole and Bella were excited to buy their first pair of Heelys, which they'd been begging for for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I caved and agreed.
They both promptly sat on the floor and began trying on various pairs, while Garrett and Landon sat on the floor next to them and watched.
Let me just repeat that again because it simply merits repeating.
Garrett and Landon sat on the floor next to their older brother and sister, patiently waiting for them to settle on a pair of shoes to purchase.
THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. Usually, while I'm helping Cole and Bella, the little twins are tearing through the store, ripping things off of shelves, annoying other customers.
On the drive home, there was nothing but happy chattering from the kids. They were sharing gummy worms with one another. I was hearing tons of "May I please have another gummy worm?" and "thank you's".
From the very back of the minivan, Cole and Bella both shouted, "We love our shoes, Mommy. Thank you!"
Again, I ask, WTF?
I suddenly felt the urge to find a huge hill covered with green grass, hold hands with my kids and sing at the top of my lungs.
The hills are alive with the sound of happy children....la, la, la, la
I kept waiting for lightening to strike. Or John Quinones, the host of Primetime: What Would You Do to appear out of nowhere and say, "Ma'am, we're doing a segment on why some parents go clinically insane after taking their kids shopping for new shoes...."
Upon returning home, they immediately tore into the bags and put on their new shoes...leaving a mess of open, scattered shoeboxes all over the floor.
Not wanting to ruin our happy day, I chose not to complain about them leaving behind a huge mess for me to clean up, as they joyfully sprinted towards the backyard to test out their new shoes.
Beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. And some battles just aren't worth fighting, especially when I just experienced a major milestone...a wonderful shopping experience with my kids.
As I peeked out the window and witnessed them all chasing one another in the backyard, laughing happily and getting along beautifully, I thought, "This is what I've been waiting for. This is how I imagined motherhood would be."
My very next thought?
Where can I get some of that freakin' Kool Aid?
Where I Get to Bitch
13 hours ago