Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Things you never knew about Big Foot, according to my kids....

My kids are obsessed with Big Foot.  Like, seriously obsessed.  It's almost an illness.

Morning, noon and night, they are talking about this big, hairy monster-type....uh, thing.


They discovered Big Foot after watching the movie Judy Moody and The Not So Bummer Summer.

And they believe he is real and living in a nearby forest here in Northern California.

So in case you were wondering, here are some things you never knew about Big Foot...according to my kids:

1)  Big Foot's favorite foods are grapes, deer, cheeseburgers with everything (including pickles...never ever forget the pickles or you will pay dearly), lollipops, marshmallows and berries.


2)  He has no choice but to poop out in the wild so he has to wipe his butt with sticks and/or leaves.  Leaves can also be mulit-purposed as a hairbrush.


3)  He's a Sasquatcher.  Nope, not a Sasquatch...but a Sasquatcher.


4)   Never ever confuse Big Foot with Chewbacca.  Chewbacca is a Wookie and Big Foot is a Sasquatcher.  There's a big difference between the two.

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

5)  He has no friends....because he eats his friends.


6)  He has green eyes that sometimes turn brown.  It depends on his mood.  And he has yellow teeth.  Because there is no such thing as a toothbrush in the wild.  Or toothpaste.  Duh.


7)  Big Foot spends his days eating his favorite foods and running away from people.  When he's not running away from people, he's hunting them down.  If he's lucky enough to catch a person, he kills them and eats them....raw, like sushi.


8)  He's mean.  So never try to capture him and make him your family pet.


9)  Big Foot cannot talk.  He just kind of roars, like an angry monster.  And don't try to talk to him because he doesn't understand English.  Only Spanish.


10)  He smells like garbage, poop....and bad breath.


Now, don't you feel enlightened on all things Big Foot?


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28 comments:

Samantha said...

Wow, so many facts that I had no idea about Big Foot. I love the Chewbacca comparison, and the fact that he has no friends...b/c he eats them. There's a Yo Gabba Gabba song that came to my mind when I read that, "Don't bite your friends..." funny song, makes me giggle.

Sasquatcher...I think kids in school used to call me that...lol

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Have they seen the 80s movie Harry and the Hendersons? I LOVED that movie as a kid!

Also, I'm now wanting a cheeseburger....

Xazmin said...

I'm so glad I learned some new information.

I'll have to pass it along to the rest of the members of my Sasquatch Research Team.

And yes I really am a member. Because once on our way to girls camp (I was a leader for church) Myself, another leader, and three 17 year old girls passed a car on our way up the canyon that belonged to a Sasquatch Research Team, and was plastered with Big Foot paraphernalia. We decided to form our own chapter. It was awesome.

Nezzy said...

I too was gonna ask ya if your kiddos had ever seen Harry and the Hendersons. Social Butterfly loved it and to this day if I see it's on...I'll call her!

This was great. "He has no friends...because he eats his friends!" Heeehehehehehe!

Love it!

God bless and ya'll have a wonderful Valentine's Day!!!

Brad Jenkins said...

#7 makes him sound more like Gerardo (singer of Rico Suave) than a sasquatcher.

Eva Gallant said...

Wow! Who knew?

Kimberly said...

That furry bass turd can eat hamburgers? Does he make them himself...out of humans and dead deer carcas?
And more importantly, what does garbage poop smell like?

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Since his hygiene and manners are atrocious, I hope he's never seen again!

Di said...

Spanish - really? See I was thinking more like German or Russian. Its just seems more Big Footish.

Heathers Happenings said...

Love that Bigfoot only knows Spanish!! LOL
Also another rule, don't mess with Sasquatch while eating beef jerky. I love those commercials.

Jode said...

Om my gosh...such thought has gone into developing those facts....i mean real thought there...your kids are genius!!!!
I do recall being a little obsessed about the notion of big foot when i was a kid too...
Good that he takes the time to wipe his butt though!

Karen Peterson said...

This totally puts me in the mood to watch Harry and the Hendersons.

Rhiannon said...

They've got it all wrong... they call me big foot (since i was in intermediate) i wear a size 11 and its long and narrow and i have long toes so it makes my feet look even bigger. From heal to toes my feet are longer than my husband's head. I speak very little spanish, i bathe everyday so I smell pretty good as long as I put deoderant on. I do get hairy if i dont shave and i dont eat my friends but i will sometimes bite their heads off. ...hehehe.... :-)

TheCheekyKea said...

Harry and the Hendersons is awesome! I wonder if you can get it on DVD....

I'm predicting a really cool episode of Dora the Explorer with this one.

Zeemaid said...

*LOL* mmmm tastes like sushi ;)

SherilinR said...

your other posters beat me to the suggestion of harry and the hendersons. my daughter loved that one when we watched it a few months ago. i think it's on netflix instant.
have they seen the show "finding bigfoot" on animal planet?

Heather said...

My son is a big Bigfoot fan while my youngest daughter must ask me at least once a day if I think Bigfoot lives near us ( she doesn't want him to live nest us). I will have to share your facts with my two.

Lisa said...

This is too funny!! I haven't thought about Big Foot in forever. I have never even mentioned it in front of the kids!

irishtwinsmommababybook said...

I'm sure Harry and the Hendersons is in your collection.

This post makes me smile and laugh!!!!

Jenny said...

I am so glad that I am educated on all things Big Foot now. LOL! I'm thinking it was Bella that added in the sushi part? Isn't that her favorite food? Too funny!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I feel very enlightened this morning!

I remember being a bit obsessed with Big Foot once upon a time. My scenarios weren't nearly as well-thought out, though. Maybe that's a sign of an only child, versus multiple kiddos who prompt each other for more and more (and more and more!) details. :)

Barbara said...

This was awesome. Although, in my ignorance I still don't see the difference between a wookie and a Sasquatch.

Missy said...

You know Animal Planet has a whole series on catching Big Foot this season, right? You should totally watch it. ;)

Twins Squared said...

I love #7! He's either running away from people, or hunting them. :) He sure looks and sounds an awful lot like Chewbacca if you ask me.

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

Your kids are precious! They always make me laugh. :)

Sela Toki said...

So cute Helene. My kids don't know anything about Big Foot at all. I love their input on Big Foot, especially #6, 9, and 10. LMBO.

myinnerchick.com said...

--Big Foot is real. I saw him in Duluth Minnesota.

Seriously.

He looks a bit like Mike Tyson.

x

Rachel said...

Que Pasa Mi Amigo Saquatchquez?

(I am absolutely dying that they think he understands Spanish - your kids are a hoot and a holler ;)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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