Monday, March 12, 2012

Ugliest. Cake. Ever.

I really thought I could do this.  I mean, how hard could a Bakugan cake be to make, right?

Apparently, more difficult than I had imagined.

As I mentioned in my most recent post, Garrett and Landon had requested a Bakugan cake for their 5th birthday this past Saturday.

When asked to describe to me exactly what they wanted, they said, "We want a white cake with a ring of fire around it.  And the dragons,  El Drago and Skyrus."

Then I looked up pics of these dragons online and immediately went into panic mode.



Seriously?  Who the hell do they think I am...Martha Stewart?  Ina Garten?

I explained, "Guys, listen.  I really want to make a cake that you'll love.  But, honestly, I don't think I can make these dragons for you.  They are way too complicated."

With a twinkle in his eye, Garrett whined, "If you really really really love us, you'll make the dragons.  You want us to think you're a good mom, don't you?"

Okay, okay, so he didn't actually say that.  But the guilt was there.  Trust me, it was there.

So I promised I would do my best.

Three days later, the Bakugan monstrosity was complete...in all its ugliness.




Is that not the ugliest cake ever?

These damn dragons aged me by about 13.8 years.

The wings kept falling apart and cracking.  I must have made 6 different pairs of wings before I finally screamed, "Screw it" and downed half a bottle of wine.

The freakin' stars kept falling off the sticks.  Some of the dragons' spikes mysteriously disappeared.  The gold glitter dust looked horrible.

Tim said the fire looked more like orange and yellow grass and that El Drago looked stoned.  Is he my biggest fan or what?

I told him, "That's it.  I'm done.  Seriously,  no more homemade cakes.  This is killing me."

He whipped out the camera and took a video of me vowing to never ever bake a birthday cake so long as I live.  I won't post the video....mainly because I look like a complete mess with gel coloring all over my face and hands as I'm cursing like a drunken sailor.

But you know what?  The smiles on my boys' faces when they saw the finished cake definitely warmed my heart.

They LOVED it and deemed me "The Best Mom On The Planet".

Still....this best mom on the planet will be paying Costco next year to make their birthday cake.

I'm out.


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40 comments:

Jode said...

Oh thank you for making me smile tonight...i really needed it!!!
That cake is freaking awesome woman but personally i think it needed at least a bottle of wine for completetion (be honest...you had the whole bottle didn't you!!!)
I can totally relate...i got into that exact same state making a fairy cake for goodness sake!
Let's just say I no longer look disdainfully at those parents that buy their children birthday cakes!
Well done Mummy, stand proud!!!

Kmama said...

I think you deserve some type of award for even attempting that. Dang. You don't even want to know what my dragons would look like. The term "blobs" comes to mind. ;-)

In my completely amateur opinion, the cake looks great!

Marianne said...

LOL. Helene, we all know those little faces will sucker you into baking their cakes in the future. Costco cakes are a lovely idea, though ;) And the cake above looks amazing! But wtf is Bakugan?

Heathers Happenings said...

I think you did a great job! I'm glad they loved their cake.

Sarah said...

Once again your cake looks freakin' incredible. I will never.. ever do this for my kids because I have no skillz whatsoever. You rock. Own it mama.

Evonne said...

That's a heck of a lot better than I could do! My kids love when I make their birthday cakes, but their demands, er, requests are getting more elaborate each year. Buying a cake might be the way to go.

Angela said...

I tell you what you did a fabulous job! Go Multiple Multiple Mama x

Lisa said...

You are beyond amazing. WOW.

IASoupMama said...

What we can't call a work of art, we can call a work of love. I think your cake looks lovely and it impressed your wonderful children -- they're pleased and proud of you, mama!

Nezzy said...

What do ya mean the ugliest cake ever girl??? You set the bar so high ya can't even see how perfectly beautiful your work of art is.

Now this is one Chick who knows from where she speaks. My Mama used to decorate cakes, no really for weddins and the like. I also can decorate but just for close friends and fam.

You did a great job on an almost impossible request. Take a bow...kudos for you my friend!

God bless and have a bright sunny kinda day sweetie!!! :o)

D said...

It's better then I could have done. My mom would tell you she once made me a Strawberry Shortcake birthday cake and according to her it looked like Skeletore,from He-Man,and I agree. Looking back on it,it totally did but when I was 6 it was the coolest,most lovely cake ever!

Nezzy said...

BTW: Pop on over and see my 59 year old potty chair before I put it back in storage.

I know how poo is one of your favorite subjects! Heeehehehhe!!!

Samantha said...

It was a much better job than I could do! I couldn't even hardly ice Bree's cake last year. I'm going back to buying cakes for her 5th Birthday. I bet it tasted good, and that's all that matters :)

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I think the cake is awesome, as always (at least to a non-Bakuganian)...but I'll believe it when I see you not make another cake for the next duo's birthday! :) Good thing Tim got you on tape! HA!

Kristina P. said...

I think it looks awesome. I am not discriminating against cake. I would eat it.

Karen Peterson said...

That cake looks awesome. I don't know what you were looking at, but this is definitely not even in the same vicinity as the ugliest cake ever.

Bits of L said...

I think the cake looks fantastic, well done! I hope that I will one day be able to produce something that is even half as good as your cake for my kids parties!

myinnerchick.com said...

--You. Are. Simply.

A M A Z I N G !!!!!

WOW. xx

Kimberly said...

With all do respect:
Shut up.
That cake is awesome. Totally deserving of an entire wine rack and mother of the year.
Ps. I'd eat it no matter what it looked like. Cake makes the world go round or something like that.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Ha ha, didn't you say that last time?!? I actually thought about you last week - wondering how the cake was coming. I think it looks incredible! I would never be able to pull of something like that. Those dragons! Awesome!

Julia Hunter said...

I think the cake looks great, those dragons look nearly impossible to make. Good job!

angel shrout said...

I bow at your greatness cause I think hubby is crazy it looks awesome and waaaaay better then I could ever do..

Jen said...

Shut up!

Sorry to be so rude but that cake is fabulous!

You are fabulous!!!!

I will be waiting for your cake shop to open soon.

Teri M said...

Wonder what the over/under is in Vegas on if you'll make another cake next year!

I like it - nice work. :)

Olusola said...

You mean those dragons are made of something other than plastic? You definitely deserve an award for this one mama

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

You need a bit of perspective, Sweetie. Take a look at this site and you'll see what I mean. Some are actually quite good, but some...

http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/2/3/truly-outrageous.html

SRM said...

I think your cake looks awesome! I swear, the boys do this to me EVERY YEAR. I finally had to put my foot down this year, when Xavier asked me to make him a Minecraft cake. Ummm, no.

TRUST me when I say that, compared to my attempts at cool cake makings, this one looks reaaly good. You should see the transformer cake I made one year. It's been three years and I'm still no tliving that down from my friends =)

Xazmin said...

Well, first off, that is FAR from the ugliest cake ever. Trust me. I've seen some ugly cakes!

Second, before I even read the rest of your post I thought, "I bet her boys looooved it!" And of course I was right.

I reverted to Costco about 3 years ago. Sometimes I find a cute cake and think, I'm totally gonna make that for so-and-so's birthday. But then the birthday arrives and it's to Costco we go!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

No way are you gonna stop! They love these cakes you make too much, and you're the harshest critic. We see how fabulous it is!

Missy | Literal Mom said...

You need to get your eyes checked, girlfriend! That cake totally ROCKED it! you could go into business and I'm totally serious.

Sarah said...

You're too hard on yourself. That cake is awesome!

Natalie said...

What? This cake does look awesome! I could have never done this in a million years! Good job :)

SRM said...

Hey Helene,
I was recently given the Liebster Blog award and I wanted to pass it on to you for your kick ass blog!
http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/2012/03/liebster-blog-awards.html

Sela Toki said...

You, my dear Helene, truly deserves the "Best Mom of the Planet" award. Yes, perhaps you did the baking kicking and shrieking but that is the most beautiful "ugliest" cake ever! And to have that bottle of wine handy. LOL. Those kids are so, so lucky to have you. WE, as mothers, try so hard and I'll just bet you'll do it again next year.

Shell said...

That is awesome! I would have been buying the toys and plunking them on top of the cake. ;)

TheCheekyKea said...

That is so cool! I must admit I've been on the edge of my seat awaiting the result - decorating cakes is my worst nightmare - but you've done a wonderful job!
The last time I help decorate a cake was for the son of a friend. It was suppose to be a Ben10 cake and it ended up looking like we'd hurled it against the wall. My friend ended up in tears with frustration and didn't want to bring it out for the other parents too see, but the kids thought it was the most amazing thing they'd ever seen.

Christina said...

Totally creepy....but you rocked it! ;) good job momma!

Emmy said...

Okay to be 100% honest if I just saw those pictures of the cakes, I would have thought- those are awesome, I so would never be able to make that. No joke- you did great!!
And the boys loved it and that is what matters.

Rhiannon said...

what you talking 'bout willis?
that is one fab cake!

Barbara said...

OMG Seriously? I think this cake looks awesome and so much better than I could have ever done! I'm with the kids, best cake ever!!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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