I really thought I could do this. I mean, how hard could a Bakugan cake be to make, right?
Apparently, more difficult than I had imagined.
As I mentioned in my most recent post, Garrett and Landon had requested a Bakugan cake for their 5th birthday this past Saturday.
When asked to describe to me exactly what they wanted, they said, "We want a white cake with a ring of fire around it. And the dragons, El Drago and Skyrus."
Then I looked up pics of these dragons online and immediately went into panic mode.
Seriously? Who the hell do they think I am...Martha Stewart? Ina Garten?
I explained, "Guys, listen. I really want to make a cake that you'll love. But, honestly, I don't think I can make these dragons for you. They are way too complicated."
With a twinkle in his eye, Garrett whined, "If you really really really love us, you'll make the dragons. You want us to think you're a good mom, don't you?"
Okay, okay, so he didn't actually say that. But the guilt was there. Trust me, it was there.
So I promised I would do my best.
Three days later, the Bakugan monstrosity was complete...in all its ugliness.
Is that not the ugliest cake ever?
These damn dragons aged me by about 13.8 years.
The wings kept falling apart and cracking. I must have made 6 different pairs of wings before I finally screamed, "Screw it" and downed half a bottle of wine.
The freakin' stars kept falling off the sticks. Some of the dragons' spikes mysteriously disappeared. The gold glitter dust looked horrible.
Tim said the fire looked more like orange and yellow grass and that El Drago looked stoned. Is he my biggest fan or what?
I told him, "That's it. I'm done. Seriously, no more homemade cakes. This is killing me."
He whipped out the camera and took a video of me vowing to never ever bake a birthday cake so long as I live. I won't post the video....mainly because I look like a complete mess with gel coloring all over my face and hands as I'm cursing like a drunken sailor.
But you know what? The smiles on my boys' faces when they saw the finished cake definitely warmed my heart.
They LOVED it and deemed me "The Best Mom On The Planet".
Still....this best mom on the planet will be paying Costco next year to make their birthday cake.
Where I Get to Bitch
12 hours ago