Landon lost his very first tooth a few days ago.
He was super excited about his impending visit from the Tooth Fairy.
"When will she come get my tooth?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
I responded, "Tonight! Make sure to leave it under your pillow, okay?"
Nodding his head, he clutched the ziploc bag, in which his tiny baby tooth was enclosed tightly, to his body.
"Hmmm, I wonder how much money she'll leave me?" he wondered.
I answered, "Well, I'm pretty sure the going rate is $5.00 for your first tooth!"
"$5.00!!!" he exclaimed, his brown eyes twinkling with obvious glee. "Oh wow! That's a lot of money!"
That night, before falling asleep, Landon made sure his baby tooth was safely nestled under his pillow.
After the kids were asleep, I said to Tim, "Hey, Tooth Fairy....you're the one who always has some cash so don't forget to leave some money for Landon, okay?"
He nodded his head and assured me that he would leave our child the money.
However, in the morning, I was greeted by a very upset 5-year old.
"Mommy!" Landon shouted from his room. "The Tooth Fairy didn't come!!!"
Tim muttered under his breath, "Shit, I totally forgot."
I rolled my eyes and went back upstairs to console our child....feeding him some crap about how the Tooth Fairy's wings were broken and she couldn't get to our house in time before he woke up...blah, blah, blah.
"Okay," he sniffled. "But she'll come tonight for sure? You promise?"
Nodding my head, I replied, "Of course. She wouldn't let you down two nights in a row!"
After the kids were tucked in bed that night, I reminded Tim to be sure to leave Landon some money for his tooth.
"You get one pass...that's it! Please do not forget tonight, okay??" I begged.
"Okay, okay...I won't forget!" he assured me....again.
The next morning, I heard Landon crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, bending down to hug him.
"The Tooth Fairy didn't leave me any money. She forgot again," he cried.
Really? WTF? I need to add Tooth Fairy to my already endless list of responsibilities around here like I need another hole in my head....or a 3rd set of twins.
I ran downstairs and lit into Tim. "Did you seriously forget AGAIN?" I whispered between gritted teeth while the kids were still upstairs getting dressed.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he looked confused.
"I thought I left some money for him. I don't know...maybe I forgot again," he mumbled.
"For the love of God, it's his FIRST tooth. And now we've completely traumatized him. He thinks the Tooth Fairy hates him. We're such crappy parents," I complained.
Then came the sound of laughter from upstairs....
"I found it, I found it," Landon yelled. "She left me $5.00!! It was under my bed sheet, not my pillow! Silly Tooth Fairy!!"
Crisis averted...but I still wanted to slap Tim upside the head with a frying pan.
When the kids were all downstairs and eating their breakfast, Bella said to me, "I think the Tooth Fairy is a man."
I asked, "Why would you think that?"
She responded, "Because the Tooth Fairy is pretty forgetful."
My eyes darted over to Tim, who was still laying on the sofa and shaking his head...probably wondering why he ever thought marriage and kids were a good idea.
Major Tooth Fairy fail.
But you know what? It wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last time.
Just keeping it real, as always.
And I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one who's had a Tooth Fairy fail, right?